Marriage: Bondage or Bonding?

In my last post I quoted an article celebrating the beauty of marriage… the joy and anticipation expressed by the wedding day…

Because I’m tired of all the negativity surrounding marriage, I’m going to quote another article about marriage that I liked. (And also because, frankly, I’m tired of writing about bouquets and engagement rings and bridal hair-do’s.)

This blogger (Partners & Marriage) starts out apparently on the Other Side of the Fence, saying:

…I have seldom met a man who didn’t fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what
it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.  When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other.

He goes on to discuss what he believes to be the pitfalls of a bad marriage, how to avoid them, what qualities to look for in a life partner and how to build a successful, happy marriage.

He ends off with these words, which I appreciate both for their poetic appeal (why does he remind me of Kipling?)  and the encouraging words of trust:

…only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer
and more complex.

So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons . It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation. If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow; if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen; if you have the strength of heart to embrace
the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers.

If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom…endlessly.

…Oh, I know why he sounds Kipling-esque. It must be all the “ifs”! And maybe it takes a real man to talk about a real marriage.

Comments

  1. What nice ideas. Thanks for finding them and sharing.