Marriage: Signs of Communication Breakdown

Lack of communication in relationships seems to be a consistent cause of marital problems. But because a breakdown in communication does not usually happen overnight, there are usually signs of trouble for a while before a real split happens. Here are some symptoms and suggested remedies to heal ailing communication between partners, from Kim Malchuk, motivational speaker, coach, and award-winning author (via Hitched). : 1: Short Fuse. This is a warning flag, especially if your spouse is … [Read more...]

10 Ways to Marry the Wrong Person

by Dov  Heller Blind love is not the way to choose a spouse. With the divorce rate over 50 percent, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding who to spend the rest of their life with. Here are practical tools for keeping your eyes wide open.  To avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalize these 10 insights. #1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The golden rule is, … [Read more...]

Affair-Proofing Your Marriage

Recent studies estimate that 45 percent of married women and approximately 54 percent of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their marriage, according to Hitched.  Shocking, isn't it? Nothing destroys a marriage faster than marital infidelity, and these statistics are truly frightening.  But it is possible to "affair-proof" your marriage, says Sharon M. Rivkin, M.A., M.F.T.  In order to make that happen, you need to know what can cause an affair in the first … [Read more...]

Learn to Fight Fair!

Trust is probably the most important ingredient in building an intimate relationship between husband and wife. The essence of building trust is summed up in one idea by Dov Heller, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Los Angeles: Create a safe emotional space for your spouse. Many people wrongly believe that in a good marriage, you can "relax" and do not have to monitor everything you say and do. Nothing could be farther from the truth!  In a good … [Read more...]

Men with Smart Wives Live Longer!

Just one more reason that your husband (or fiance) should be glad he's married (going to be married) to you!  According to the Times Online,  Men married to smart women live longer!  We already know that married men live longer than unmarried men, and that a romantic relationship can add years to your life, but now we know something else... when it comes to picking a wife, brainy is better! There is a lingering suspicion among girls... that boys don’t value cleverness as an essential quality in … [Read more...]

Inexpensive Date Ideas

You don't have to be dating to go on dates. Spending quality time together as an engaged or married couple is important to maintain a healthy relationship. Just because money's tight doesn't mean you can't go out for a night on the town... or spend the weekend doing something new and fun. So get out of your pj's and check out these budget-friendly date ideas from Marie Claire. 1. Rent bikes and go for a ride in the park or by the beach. Pack a picnic lunch or grab hotdogs at a nearby … [Read more...]

Are you having enough fun??

"Couples who play together stay together," says Gail Saltz, MD at iVillage. She talks about a new study from the University of Denver, showing that couples who have more fun time together also report more marital satisfaction and good feelings about their partner. Now this probably seems obvious to you, but the ironic part is that so many couples are working very hard to be able to afford some fun... and yet they don't make any time to actually do that. Another recent study found that couples … [Read more...]

Questions to Ask Before you say “I DO”

When you approach a marriage, you must be prepared to give it your all, but you also need to be sure there are no major "red flags" that will eventually doom your union. When a couple works together to build a strong, loving, respectful relationship, they really can overcome mountains... but you need to have a solid foundation to build on. Here are a list of questions you can ask yourself to ascertain whether there are any lurking issues that need to be worked out before you say "I do." 1. … [Read more...]

Barack and Michelle: A Model Marriage?

A very interesting Newsweek essay calls Barak and Michelle Obama's union "Our Model Marriage" and claims that "the Obamas have the kind of relationship millennials aspire to." All you have to do is watch them slow dancing to tuba music at last month's Youth Inaugural Ball, with President Obama "resting his head, eyes closed, on Michelle's shoulder" to realize that this is a love that's hard to fake. Romano calls their marriage "a union of self-sufficient equals" that appeals to 20-something … [Read more...]

Just (Facebook) Friends

In an age where the internet (particularly Facebook and the like) is an often all-too-defining instrument in our personal relationships, one little mouse-click can get you into a sticky situation. On the She Knows message board, one regular poster talks about her husband's FB friendship with an ex-girlfriend: Ok, so somehow my husband's very first girlfriend found him on Facebook. Now he's corresponding with her via Facebook and email. How would you feel if your husband was doing this? When he … [Read more...]