Love, Sex, and Marriage… with Robots

Why? Why, why, why? Seriously, WHY??

Read about it for yourself at MSNBC. Here are some real treasures excepted from the article:

At first, sex with robots might be considered geeky, “but once you have a story like ‘I had sex with a robot, and it was great!’ appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I’d expect many people to jump on the bandwagon,” Levy said.

What? WHO?? What sort of pathetic looser would want to have sex with (much less marry) something that has no feelings? Something that can’t genuinely appreciate you? Can’t give you a compliment? Can’t do a spontaneous act of kindness?

Levy argues that psychologists have identified roughly a dozen basic reasons why people fall in love, “and almost all of them could apply to human-robot relationships. For instance, one thing that prompts people to fall in love are similarities in personality and knowledge, and all of this is programmable. Another reason people are more likely to fall in love is if they know the other person likes them, and that’s programmable too.”

If it wasn’t so unbelievably sad, it would be funny. Who wants a spouse that is PROGRAMMED to like you? Where’s the thrill in that? But hey, if you want your lover’s personality and intelligence level programmed to match yours, be my guest…

The main benefit of human-robot marriage could be to make people who otherwise could not get married happier, “people who find it hard to form relationships, because they are extremely shy, or have psychological problems, or are just plain ugly or have unpleasant personalities,” Levy said. “Of course, such people who completely give up the idea of forming relationships with other people are going to be few and far between, but they will be out there.”

Now I get it. “Hi, I’m ugly, stupid, and nasty, and no one wants to marry me, so I married a robot and now I’m happy.”

“But who knows, maybe some other relationships could welcome a robot. Instead of a woman saying, ‘Darling, not tonight, I have a headache,’ you could get ‘Darling, I have a headache, why not use your robot?’ “

OK, now they’re starting to make sense… as long as the robot also cooks and cleans.

Levy is currently writing a paper on the ethical treatment of robots. When it comes to sex and love with robots, “the ethical issues on how to treat them are something we’ll have to consider very seriously, and they’re very complicated issues,” Levy said.

Well now I feel much better. Human rights- who needs ’em? Save the whales and the rainforests… whatever for? But Robot Rights, now that’s a cause worth dedicating your time to. I programmed my robot to be loving, supportive, and sensitive, and I’d hate to hurt his feelings.


  1. I am the King says:

    A guy would want a robot for the same reason kings wanted concubines, or bosses want hot secretaries. You want someone who has to do what you want when you want it. Because for you its not just about sex, its all about YOU YOU YOU.

    A wife is a lot harder. you have to look after what she wants, and make her happy and win her over to get her smiling and willing. Some guys just too selfish to care about anybody else. Its more work, but you end up with a real friend, wife, lover not just a tool for relieving yourself.