The couple that prays together… stays together?

Christie Hadley, in an article from The Examiner, explores a concept presented in a lecture hosted by John and Patty Hadden: praying together as a couple. “Now I don’t know about you,” she says, “But this makes me a little squirmy. I’m comfortable with personal prayer and knowing God on a personal level, but outside of Mass, I don’t usually pray with people.”

So what is it that has “Pray together” at the top of the list for a stronger marriage?  Some statistics say that couples who pray together have a significantly lower divorce rate than couples who don’t. Other sources say that couples who pray experience a 20 to 30 present elevation in romance, conversation, and various levels of marital happiness.

Well then, I agree with Christie; more romance and happiness could make it worth getting over the awkward part. And the idea does make sense, as I see it, because it’s about letting your partner access the deeper, more spiritual side of you. Letting someone else share your prayers is synonymous with letting them in on your hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, and desires. And that will definitely bring you closer. So how do you get started?

  • Pick a time that works for both people. Popular times are in the morning before the day gets crazy or right before bed.
  • Pick a place that will be quiet and allow you to focus on prayer.
  • Decide if you’ll do this daily and how long you’ll do it. Just a few minutes a day may be all it takes.
  • Decide how you’ll pray. Just like with personal prayer, there are many options. You can use a book to guide you or take turns saying your prayers back and forth. You can hold hands and offer a prayer for a good day, help with a particular problem, or thanksgiving.

It sounds like it might be uncomfortable at first, but the benefits might be worth it.  I imagine it will become easier and more intimate over time. Why don’t you give it a try? And don’t forget to let us know how it feels!

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  1. I agree whole heartedly that praying together makes you more intemate. Before I started dating, I made that one of my requirements… that I would be able to pray with my boyfriend/fiance/spouse. I knew it was important and it really opens a whole new level of friendship as you get to know each other. It is important to have other prayer partners as well as your boyfriend, if you end up having to bring the relationship to an end, you don’t want to lose your only prayer partner! When you get married, having a prayer partner besides your spouse is not a bad idea either. There are intimate feelings that you share with your spouse but you will still have the need for friends to share with and pray with.