Just (Facebook) Friends

In an age where the internet (particularly Facebook and the like) is an often all-too-defining instrument in our personal relationships, one little mouse-click can get you into a sticky situation. On the She Knows message board, one regular poster talks about her husband’s FB friendship with an ex-girlfriend:

Ok, so somehow my husband’s very first girlfriend found him on Facebook. Now he’s corresponding with her via Facebook and email. How would you feel if your husband was doing this?

When he told me that this person contacted him, he seemed very thrilled. I don’t know what to think. I trust my husband but he has admitted in the past that it’s possible for him to get too emotionally connected with a woman besides me and that’s not a good thing.

He’s connecting with this woman without telling me about it. That’s what’s bothering me the most. Maybe if he was honest with me and talking to me about it I wouldn’t feel so bothered.

Being that I’m 10 weeks pregnant isn’t making matters better as only my family knows and it’s not like he’s going to tell this woman that right now. I don’t know what kind of relationship she has with her husband. What if it’s not a good one?

I think I’m putting too much time into thinking about this. But I’d just like to know what you would do.

What is your opinion about being in touch with ex’s over the internet?

If it was your husband/boyfriend/fiance, how would you feel and what would you do about it?

Personally, I think that some things are left buried in the past. You know what I mean, and who these people are. I have hit the “ignore” button myself (yes, you CAN overcome that natural curiosity) and gone on with my life, and everyone should be able to make that judgement call on their own. If you know your spouse would be jealous, just let it go. And if you know that YOU would be jealous, keep the lines of communication open and let him know how you feel. (An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, as they say…) These are things that should not be allowed to get out of control. Boundaries, espeically when it comes to one’s online relationships, are crucial.

Image from personalsafetyadvice.co.uk