Minimize Wedding Planning Stress by thinking of others

It may seem obvious that being selfishly absorbed in all the minute details of planning a wedding will make those around you miserable. Sensible people will probably realize that obsessing over everything will make you miserable as well. Unfortunately, some people are just so wrapped up in their own needs and desires that they forget to be considerate of the other people who are involved.  Even normally caring individuals can be overwhelmed by planning the perfect day, becoming a little bit selfish, and ignoring the considerations of others.

Don’t let this happen to you! As you consider all the things that will make up your dream wedding, don’t forget to be considerate of others as well. This includes your parents, family members, bridal party, guests, and of course, your fiance. Take a lesson from this bride, who’s parents are worried about the financial strain of planning a wedding and getting into arguments over it.  “My dad is out of work and I think he’s depressed as money is tight and there are still many bills to pay for the wedding, which is going to be spectacular,” she says. “I’m feeling the strain, too, arguing with my fiance over silly things like what type of champagne we should have for the reception.” Dr. Miriam replies: “[Your parents’] biggest problem right now is your selfishness… you seem to be more worried about being lavish than you are about the extra pressure it’s putting on them. It’s understandable you want to have a lovely day but it’s not fair to expect your parents to get into debt to give you your dream… Your parents’ welfare should be the most important thing, shouldn’t it?” She suggests letting this girl’s parents off the hook by scaling things down or paying for certain things herself.

A more common complaint is often heard from bridesmaids who are expected to pay for their own dresses, which are often expensive and not even to their taste. Just a few weeks ago my brother got married and his fiance requested that the bridal party wear champagne. I went a few shades deeper and chose a gold color which I thought much prettier and richer than a washed out champagne. I knew that everyone was going to be doing their own thing and none of the colors would match exactly. It was enough for the bride that everyone was wearing something in the “champagne family.” It ended up costing around $200, and I was lucky that my parents offered to pay for it! But now my sister-in-law is getting married in a few months, and her bridesmaids are wearing a light silver color… I didn’t think it got worse than champagne until I heard that she is picking silver! I emailed her saying that I honestly don’t know what I’ll end up wearing, since our finances are limited these days and I can’t shell out another $200 for a dress I’ll probably never want to wear again. I’m pretty sure she’ll have the grace to understand that and not make a fuss. And I will appreciate her flexibility, as well as that of my new sister-in-law of a few weeks ago.  I think they realize that the most important thing about wedding planning, and even more starting on married life, is to be sensitive of other people, especially family and friends who are more important than even the most spectacular wedding in the world.