Bride has pre-wedding meltdown. Script written by ME!

Modern Bride Magazine is having a “Modern Bride of the Year” contest, with a choice of ten semi-finalists that YOU can vote for (and be entered to win a Honeymoon in Fiji!). There’s a picture, a bio, and short video of every bride, each one more lovely, accomplished, and fascinating than the next.

But one specific bride caught my attention. Heather Clark, 33, from Boulder, CO is an event planner who is currently immersed in preparing for her own wedding.

For her “modern and organic” wedding, she and her fiance plan to write personal letters to each guest, which will serve as their place cards.

Oh my gosh, are you kidding?  I actually did something like that, but only for my very close friends. I wonder how large a wedding they’re planning. I bet they’re having a lot of people. I can see it now, the night before the wedding…

Heather (scratches her nose with her pen–the wrong end– and gets purple ink all over the tip of the aforementioned nose):  “… Forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty.  I still have forty-three more to write, and I’m so tired I can barely hold my pen steady. How many more do you have to do, honey?”

Fiance (stretches and yawns): “There! That’s my last one! I’m all done. You should really hurry up, babe, you need to get a good night’s sleep before the big day!”

Heather: *Gasp* You’re done?! How can that be?  Yesterday you said you still had a lot more to do! Let me see those!”

Fiance: “Ok, here. I’m going to bed. G’night love.”

Heather: “OH MY GOD. You MUST be kidding me! You wrote the EXACT SAME THING TO EVERY PERSON! You wrote the same thing to your mom that you wrote to your soccer buddies! *SOB* How could you do that? This is NOT the way it was supposed to be! It was supposed to be SPECIAL! I wanted each note to be PERSONAL! I thought you understood… I thought you were… I… I can’t believe I’m marrying such an imbecile! What is WRONG with you?!”

Heather collapses into a tearful, shuddering heap of frustrated, overtired, stressed-out over-achieving bride. Her only hope now is that she will be voted Modern Bride of the Year, and all the wedding planning trauma will be worth it. Please vote for Heather!!

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