I’ve been married for three years, and plan to stay married for a good long time. So I guess that’s why I like the “Marriage is wonderful! That’s why we do it!” type of articles (as opposed to the “Marriage is going down the tubes and isn’t worth a cent these days, unless it’s gay marriage and then it’s cool” articles.)

 So, I liked this one from the Times Online, called

Marriage’s little secret: it works

I mean, if that’s not encouraging, I don’t know what is! The author, Imogen Stubbs, claims the secret to keeping a marriage fresh, as witnessed in her parents marriage and her own experience, is the element of separation. Can’t argue with that, although I imagine it means a lot of different things to a lot of different couples. For Ms. Stubbs’ parents that meant her dad was away a lot as a naval officer. For herself, it means she needs to escape every so often, and goes off trekking through the Himalayas, racing across the Arctic, or some other little outing of the sort. “If you need time to yourself,” she says, “ the sky won’t fall.” Thank God for that.

Then there’s tedium and habit, two aspects of marriage that even the most starry-eyed newlyweds may find themselves struggling with. Don’t let it scare you off… find solace in your “worked-on friendship and the joy of being known profoundly.” Yes, I suppose it’s better to be bored with a good friend, than bored with someone you don’t know or don’t particularly like.

And for heaven’s sake, keep talking! says Stubbs. “Relationships are essentially about bringing home stories and sharing them, so one of the essentials is having something to say. If you are not inclined to go roaming the Masai Mara, that’s where Radio 4 comes in.” Ha ha.

 What’s your secret to a fantastic marriage?

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