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Is marriage all about the sacrifice?

July 18, 2007 By Bride.net

Some brilliant blogging mind out there is trying to sound profound, or at least be thought-provoking, by writing about the secular bias against gay marriages. First of all, this is “secular” vs what? Religious? I’m not sure. But anyway, her premis is that people don’t like the thought of gay marriage because it makes them feel foolish. (And no one fights harder than one who’s being made to feel the fool.) In other words, these poor straight people are thinking, “Why do I have to suffer with this spouse of mine, reject all other partners, stifle all the ticklish thoughts of what could-have-been, when these damn gay people are happily going about their scandelous lives and not sacrificing anything at all?? Now I feel silly because I have sacrificed so much, so needlessly, to the false gods of holy matrimony.” 

I’m not sure what her point is. Is she saying that all the supposedly straight, anti-gay people out there are secretly wishing they were married to their best (same-sex) friend? Granted, even I feel that way once in a while, and I would even believe you when you say we all have some deep dark homosexual tendancies lurking beneath the surface. But I don’t think that could be her point. Is she saying that every married person is secretly pining to sleep with their mailman/doctor/interior decorator, but are resisting the urge simply because it makes them feel noble? Is she saying that every married person is doomed to a dreary life of unfulfilled dreams?

And another thing. Is it really true that people in a gay marriage are not committed to eachother? That they are not limiting future sex partners? That their life is one big, exciting, limitless orgy? Apparently so. And apparently  this is what life should be all about.

Where in her smartly cynical world did the concepts of true love go? And family? I’m not taking a stand on gay marriages or not, I’m just thinking that whether you’re married to a man or a woman, you’d want some semblance of love and commitment, to the point where your partner is willing to sacrifice a little bit to keep the relationship alive.  I fail to see how sacrifice is limited to a straight couple. And I even suspect that some people are actually happily married to one person for their entire life, and don’t buy into all this talk of “sacrifice” in the first place.

Filed Under: Getting Engaged, Marriage & More

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