OK. So what can the groom do? I know the bride and groom in this photo don’t inspire much confidence, but we know there are plenty of grooms out there who are mature, capable, and reliable! For the lucky bride whose groom is willing to meet her halfway, The Groom Says has a bunch of good ideas. In his own witty words:

• Male on Mail. MC Groom will stuff, stamp, send out the Save the Dates and the Invites. When guests respond, he’ll be responsible for managing the guest list (that means keeping track of RSVPs, updating mailing addresses, hounding guests who don’t respond, etc).
• MC Groom Inn the House. Your groom will also assume the sometimes unpleasant tasks involved in guest accommodations, like researching hotel options and being the point-person for the hotel’s group sales coordinator. It might also involve alerting out-of-town guests about the block of rooms that are set aside and ensuring that all guests get the decided-upon rate.
• Music and Food. Brides, you won’t like what you’re about to hear, but just know that you can’t possibly book all of your vendors yourself and keep your head on straight simultaneously. MC Groom will manage. He’ll do all the research, share his findings, manage contracts and handle all of the correspondence with your DJ/band and your caterer, the two vendors who will please and feed your guests’ ear drums and taste buds, respectively. He’ll ensure that the music that’s played will appeal to all of your guests and guarantee that the caterer caters to any dietary needs of your guests. Don’t worry, brides, you can still help him choose who those vendors will be and help decide the menu for the evening. And an added bonus — you’re still responsible for the venue(s), the coordinators and planners, the officiant, the florist/designer, the photographer and the videographer. Win!
• The Mini-Wedding. What a blessing it is that MC Groom is accustomed to eating, because he’ll be in charge of choosing the venue for the rehearsal dinner and working hand-in-hand with his parents (assuming they’re hosting the event) to plan the festivities.
• Favors. I know this is a touchy territory; some brides revel in the fact that they can send their guests off with homemade chocolate chip cookie-scented candles, and we wouldn’t dare take that joy away from you. But for those brides who aren’t as crafty, your groom may have some ideas to run by you and may be the perfect sounding board for yours.
• Information Hotline. MC Groom will assume the daunting task of ensuring that everyone knows exactly where everything is being held and how to get from this thing to that other thing. And in the days leading up to the wedding, he can field all of the phone calls from your long-winded guests who have inane questions. Someone needs to tell cousin Mark that, no, he shouldn’t wear open-toed shoes to the reception.
• Liquor Cabinet. And yes, he will gladly take care of the booze, which makes sense since he’s going to be communicating with your caterer directly. He’ll select the beer and the liquor and mix some specialty cocktails for you to sample at home. He’s such a gentleman… 
• The There-and-Back. If applicable, MC Groom will be responsible for researching transportation options for your guests, whether that involves a taxi, a trolley or an eight-person bicycle.
• We Love Our Garlic Press. My 2Es can attest to the unanticipated burden of sending out thank you cards. You planned a wedding for over a year, and once it’s through (while you’re genuinely stoked about your new Calphalon stick-free wok), the last thing you want to do is sit down and put those feelings on paper. The fact that you’re given a full year to complete the task doesn’t help either, as you only end up delaying the inevitable. So let MC Groom express your gratitude. Buy some stationery you approve of and put them in his trusty hands, confident that he can mail out four or five dozen envelopes in twelve months time.

A few more things:

• Take charge of his own attire, plus attire, rentals, accessories and gifts for his men.
• Hire the babysitters, rent a photobooth, book a harpist for the ceremony… basically any other responsibilities you and he agree to place in his trusty hands!

Liked that? TheManRegistry.com is an online resource for grooms and is the internet leader in grooms wedding tips and wedding advice for grooms. The website features a specialized wedding gift registry featuring hundreds of wedding gifts tailored toward grooms, including electronics, barbecue grills and accessories, bar supplies, tools and outdoors gear and items from favorite sports teams — In addition to the wedding registry, the website also offers a wealth of information, how-to articles and resources designed to help successfully guide the 2.4 million grooms who get married each year through every step of the engagement, wedding and honeymoon planning processes.

feature image: The Mail

Talk about money: Sit down with your fiance and go through your bank statements, pay stubs, bills, and other financial records. Discuss how much each of you can afford to put toward the wedding.

Write it down: You might think this goes without saying, but some brides just never get around to doing it. Put everything down on paper.  If you find that one area (wedding dress, let’s say) turns out to be more than you planned on, you have two choices: find something cheaper, or readjust your spending in other areas (such as toning down the flower arrangements or limiting the alcohol.)

Save wherever you can: Here are a few suggestions: Skip the popcorn at the theater, and spend time watching a movie at home and cuddling with your fiance. Cook dinner together instead of going out to your favorite restaurant. Make a commitment to put 10 percent of every paycheck into your wedding fund. A few small changes here and there can add up!

Talk to your parents: Although most couples are now paying for more of the wedding costs that they did in the past, often parents are more than happy to contribute. Find out how much they can afford to invest in your big day.

Prioritize: Once you know how much money is at your disposal, rank the importance of each wedding expense. The more imporant things get a larger chunk of the pie.

Get a wedding planner: Although a consultant might charge as much as 10 percent of your wedding budget, he or she could keep you from going over budget and into debt.  Let your wedding planner know how much you can spend, what your priorities are, and give her a realistic picture of the wedding you hope to have.

Don’t sweat the small stuff: Weddings are expensive, and you may not have the fairy tale affair you once dreamed of.  That’s OK. Trends and styles come and go, but you’ll always have the photos, dried flowers, and memories– and those are priceless.

feature image from wedding planning basics

1. You don’t look silly! “Realize that even though you feel stupid while you’re getting pictures taken, they’re turning out great. If you can just laugh and go with it, the images will reflect your personalities and show the connection between the two of you. You can be in a crappy location, but as long as you’re in a good mood, your pictures are going to rock.” —Genya Garrett, Vue Photography, Panama City, Florida

2. Clean up your room! “If you want your ‘getting ready’ pictures to look their best, keep the place clean. That room becomes the basis, the background, for all of your pictures. If you have ten girls dressing and undressing in the same room, it will show in your photos. The room should be clutter-less. I get the best pictures when I walk into a room that someone has intentionally kept neat.” —Brian Dorsey, Brian Dorsey Studios, New York, New York

3.  Hire a make-up artist! Although you may be tempted to do it yourself, hiring a professional will pay off in the long run.  “Do-it-yourself brides look fine for the first hour or so, but then the makeup wears off. Or they wear very subtle makeup that doesn’t photograph well: Nothing pops.” —Cathy Short, Devonshire Photography, Wilbraham, Massachusetts

4. Photos First! If you don’t care too much either way, it may be a good idea for the bride and groom to see each other before the ceremony. “It gets the jitters out of the way and gives me time to get some fun, unique images. When portraits are taken after the ceremony, it’s hard for the couple to focus. They don’t want to miss the party!” —Sarah Maren, Sarah Maren Photography, Sacramento, California

5. May I have this *entire* dance? “Don’t cut your first dance short or have your bridal party join you halfway through it. This decreases the amount of images I can get of just the two of you during your reception. If you dance for the entire song, you’ll end up with more sweet, intimate photos.” —Alison Conklin, Alison Conklin Photography, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

6. Light up the dance floor! There are so many images you want captured during a reception, and the lighting will play an important part in how the pictures turn out.  “Ask the DJ or band to light themselves and the dance floor. Or, if it’s in your budget, look into a lighting designer, who can add uplighting to the room and give it extra pop. Lighting makes the space look cooler and preserves the ambiance.” —Anne Ruthman, Anne Ruthman Photography, Boston, Massachusetts

For more wedding photography & video tips, visit Brides.com!

Save on Alcohol

• Instead of providing a full bar, serve a signature drink, such as punch or a favorite cocktail, instead of providing a full bar.  Another option is to limit alcoholic beverages to wine and beer, choices that will satisfy most of your guests.

• Rather than pouring Champagne all night long, serve just a single glass to each guest at the appropriate time to toast the bride and groom.

• Technically, Champagne is sparkling wine that’s from the Champagne region of France. But you can find plenty of substitutions that don’t come with the high price tag.  For example, Cava, the Spanish take on Champagne, or Prosecco, from Italy, which is smoother, sweeter, and a better fit for a small budget. Even French sparkling wine is cheaper; it’s made the same way but isn’t actually from Champagne.

• Buy your own wine wholesale. You may pay your caterer a corkage fee to pour it, but wine purchased through him can cost twice as much.

• Most merchants offer a 10 percent discount for buying wine by the case, and they’ll often increase that if you purchase several cases at once.

Save on your Wedding Cake

• Hire an outside baker to provide the wedding cake, if your caterer’s contract permits. You may have to pay a cake-cutting charge, but you will likely pay less overall.

• Want a tall cake but don’t want to pay full price? Have your baker make just enough to serve each guest one slice.  Additional tiers can be made of Styrofoam and iced to match the others.  No one will know!

• Alternatively, you can order two cakes for the reception: a small fancy one to be used for display, and a large sheet cake, which does not need to be elaborately decorated.   The bigger cake gets sliced and dished up in the kitchen.

• Or, order a very plain (and moderately priced) cake, and make the focal point the cake topper. Vintage toppers and classic symbols can make a cake memorable.

• You don’t need a whole separate dessert course. Just present the wedding cake as dessert, with coffee and tea, to end the meal.

Save on Ingredients

• Have your caterer use local fruits and vegetables that are in season. They’re tastier, fresher, and more economical!

• Use expensive ingredients, such as lobster, in hors d’oeuvres rather than in a main course.

• How you serve dinner affects the price. Regular plate service and French service, in which guests are served by waiters from a platter at the table, are the most expensive. Family style, where diners help themselves from serving dishes brought to the table, is more economical.

Save on Flowers

• Many popular bridal flowers are available year-round, but some traditional ones — peonies and lilies of the valley, for example — can be expensive out of season. Consult with your florist about what flowers are in season and easy to obtain.

• Mix berries, pine cones (for winter), and other economical non-floral embellishments  to fill out bouquets and displays.

• You don’t need to deck every pew with flowers. Get the most bloom for your buck by asking your florist to design two lush altarpieces, which will direct everyone’s eyes exactly where you want them to be: on you and your groom.

• Make floral arrangements do double duty: If designed properly, your ceremony flowers can serve as centerpieces at the reception, or decorate the guest-book, seating-card, and favor tables. Place bridesmaids’ bouquets on the cake table.

Saving on Centerpieces

• Floating flowers: Instead of decorating tables with large arrangements, float a few flowers in shallow bowls or glass cylinders filled halfway with water.

• Economical flowers: Floral standbys like daisies and carnations are available year-round, are quite affordable, and when arranged en masse make delightful centerpieces and bouquets.

• Flowering bulbs: Flowers like amaryllis, narcissus, and hyacinth often cost less than regular flowers and are dramatic rising from a layer of stones set in clear containers.

• Fruits: Bowls or compotes filled with seasonal fruits from a farmer’s market can take the place of expensive floral presentations.

• Candles: A single pillar candle in a hurricane lantern is a wonderful centerpiece, as is a casual display of votive candles in the middle of a table.

• Vases: You’ll save money if your florist doesn’t have to supply vases for your centerpieces. if you have a collection of containers, such as jelly jars or milk jugs. Filled with flowers, just about any type of vessel will make pretty displays.

Save on Favors

• Use favors as place cards to save a bit on stationery costs. For seating cards, write guests’ names and table numbers on strips of paper, affix them to the favors, and set in order on a table near the entrance. For place cards, put favors with names attached at guests’ places.

• Handmade favors (especially edible ones like cookies or candies) and decorations are appealing and usually cost less than store-bought.

Save on the Season

• A winter date may come with lower fees, rather than scheduling in the summer, when rates are at their highest.

• Weddings scheduled during holidays or vacation times are more popular and therefor more expensive. To cut costs, plan your wedding during an uneventful season.

• Fridays and Sundays are generally less expensive than Saturdays for renting a venue.

• For a destination wedding, book a date that is not as popular for travel in the region.

Downsize

• Wedding Party: Try to keep the number of attendants as small as possible.  The larger the bridal party, the more you’ll spend on gifts and flowers.

• Transportation:  Use a personal car rather than a limousine to get to and from the reception.

• Wedding Highlights:  Hire a videographer to work just from the ceremony through the first dance rather than for the entire wedding.

• Photographer: There are many talented photographers who haven’t made a name for themselves yet, and their lack of fame can save you a fortune. If you fall hard for a photographer who’s in high demand, ask if she’ll refer you to a lower-priced colleague (just make sure you like his work before you commit).

• Location: If you are considering two locations, small towns are more economical than big cities! One bride moved her wedding from Brooklyn, New York to a beach town in Michigan, and watched catering quotes drop from $140 per head to $40 — a savings of $15,000!

• Guest List: To minimize the guest list, refrain from inviting children and coworkers. Include your friends’ significant others but not casual dates.

• Extras: A venue that comes with extras built in, like a wedding coordinator or an on-site ceremony location, means significant savings.

• Negotiate: Before signing a contract with your caterer, photographer, or florist, try to negotiate a lower yet still reasonable price.

• Celebrate in Public: The nicest wedding sites — parks, museums, public gardens — may be the most affordable.

• Music: For your reception, remember that a deejay can be less costly than a live band.  To avoid hiring two bands and paying two separate fees, ask if just a few pieces of the band can play during the ceremony and cocktail hour, as well as at the reception.

Save on Your Wedding Dress

• Look for a dress at sample sales, trunk shows, and outlets; you can sign up for some designers’ sample-sale listings online. Most wedding-dress designers allow you to sign up for news and updates.  Even if you dislike this type of spam, getting on their e-mail lists will keep you informed on time-sensitive info such as sample sales and trunk shows.

• Consider wearing your mother’s gown. The costs of cleaning and alterations will likely be far less than the cost of buying a new wedding dress.

Use your Friends

• Borrow accessories from family and friends instead of buying them.

• Ask talented friends or relatives to help with your wedding. An artistic friend, for instance, might design your stationery, or a baking enthusiast could make cupcakes or cookie favors.

Hope these tips are helpful! For the complete list, visit Martha Stewart Weddings: 65 Ways to Trim Your Budget.

You will need to meet with a potential caterer during the event-planning process.  He or she will help to make your big day a success, and you’ll want someone who is easy to work with and reliable. Some caterers only work in certain venues, so you will probably need to have selected a venue before you choose a caterer.

You also should consider asking for references from the caterer. If possible, it would be a good idea to preview another reception (at least the set-up portion) so that you can make sure that everything flows smoothly. Here are some key questions, from Knot for Life, that you should ask before you select a caterer. He or she should be willing to answer all questions openly.

Questions for the Caterer

The Cost

The first question is to get a general idea of cost. You should know an approximate number of people who will be there, keeping in mind that the caterer typically will add 10 percent to the number you give. Ask about the price for a buffet, a seated dinner, and for a bar if you want one.

Sample Menus

Once you have an idea of the cost, ask the caterer for sample menus that will fit in each price estimate. You need to be sure to speak to the caterer about special dietary restriction, such as vegetarian substitutions for some guests if needed.

Seating Arrangements

You and the caterer should be able to work together on the seating arrangements. Ask the caterer for her ideas about the seating with a chart if possible. The caterer should be able to give you an idea of the number of people who can fit comfortably in your venue with certain types of tables.

The Set-Up

While discussing the set-up, ask about whether the caterer provides tables, chairs, linens, and other items. If not, he can probably suggest places where you can get those items, and you need to coordinate those reservations as soon as possible.

Alcohol

The other major topic you will need to discuss is whether or not alcohol will be served. If you do not plan to have alcohol, let the caterer know, and the issue is over. If you do plan to serve alcohol, be sure that the caterer offers alcohol service and find out about how it works as far as pricing. There are a large number of options. You can offer a certain number of drinks per guests with a cash bar afterward. If you would like more control over how much your guests drink, set up a limit of bottles of champagne or drinks per guest. You need to be sure that the caterer has liability insurance to cover the alcohol sales and any other details related to the alcohol.

Payment Terms

There are some details you should take into account as well. Ask about the deposit and when the remainder of the payment is due. In addition you need to ask about whether tipping is acceptable if the caterer provides staff for bar or serving at tables. Also you should find out about how many staff members are included in the standard cost, and if you think there should be more staff members, then you need to ask about hiring additional people.

Final Costs

Find out when you will receive the final cost quote. You typically will not receive it until about 90 days before your wedding. Be prepared for rising costs, particularly if you have a large number of fruits or seafood where price tends to fluctuate. Ask about the payment of the final bill as well as the date when the caterer will need your final head count. You will need to set the RSVP date one week before the caterer needs the head count.

These major issues will help you to ensure that you and your caterer are on the same page with the plans for your wedding. The caterer plays an important parting your wedding day, so don’t make any decisions with which you don’t feel comfortable. If you feel comfortable with the caterer, you will have one less stressful part of your wedding day.

For more wedding planning tips, visit Knot for Life!

Wedding planner and designer Terrica Skaggs, in Ten Secrets to Planning a Successful Wedding Your Friends Will Envy, quotes the saying “If you stand for nothing you’ll fall for anything.” The same thing is true when it comes to wedding themes. If you don’t have one, you’ll end up with numerous unrelated elements just thrown together.  Having a theme pulls the whole event together, from food to music to favors, and makes your planning process that much simpler.

If you find yourself thinking, “But I don’t want a theme! I just want a simple wedding where my friends and family will have a great time!” there is good news.  A wedding theme doesn’t need to be elaborate or extravagant, such as “Mardi Gras Masquerade” or “Mediterranean Dream.”  You just need to pick something that’s meaningful to you, or something that suits your style, and be consistent. Even your colors can be a theme!

Here are some tips on choosing a wedding theme:

1. Think about who you and your fiance are, and what you stand for. What are your hobbies? What are you passionate about? What appeals to you? If you’re all about laid-back fun, than “backyard barbecue” can be your theme (even if you’re not having your wedding in a backyard!). If you both love opera, then make that your theme. If you love nature and preserving the environment, go for a “natural” theme. You can also use cultural or ethnic themes. And hey, if the color yellow makes you happy, then use that as your central theme!

2.  If you do pick a color as theme, be consistent. If you choose pink and green, decide what shades you like, and stick to it. Try to use a maximum of three complimentary colors, and keep them in season. “Having specific wedding colors can help give a visual unity, and help your wedding seem more elegant, and even more expensive than it really is,” according to About Weddings.

3. A theme can be ANYTHING.. a season (autumn), an era (Victorian), a country (Italian), a sport (baseball), a flower (sunflowers), a design (polka dots)… Try picking one word (or phrase) as your theme, something that expresses the mood or style of your wedding: Romantic, whimsical, Gothic, modern, Art Deco, moonlight, floral… you get the point!

4. Perk up your venue with little touches that reflect your theme. Implement things like flowers, greenery, candles, sashes, seashells, and lanterns into your decor.  In this way you can transform even the plainest venue into something that looks like a million dollars, as well as save yourself some money, and give your theme authenticity.  Hang sparkling snowflakes from the ceiling for a winter wedding, use watering cans to hold your centerpieces for a “garden” wedding, or sea shells for an ocean themed wedding.

5. Play music that echos your theme. Whether you have a DJ or a 5-piece band, make sure they are willing to work with your theme. You don’t want a harpist at a Wild West wedding, or 80′s music at your Roaring 20′s celebration.

6. Choose a theme that will go over well with your guests, advises My Wedding Blog. Make sure that your theme is not in poor taste. You most definitely do not want to insult or disgust your guests.

7. If you want to go all out, get help! If you have a specific theme in mind, but you don’t know how to pull it off, hire a coordinator to handle it for you. As professionals, they know exactly how to make your themed wedding a success.

8. Take the theme home! Not everyone chooses to give out wedding favors, but if you do, they should definitely reflect your theme! Visit AmericanBridal for all your themed wedding favor needs!

Polka dot cake from maisie fantaisie.

So what can you do to make your dream a reality? A destination wedding may provide the answer, but there are a number of factors you need to take into consideration before deciding to whisk your loved ones away to an exotic destination.

TheBigDay.com discusses the pro’s and con’s of planning a wedding far from home.

Reasons to choose a Destination Wedding:

1. Increased intimacy

There’s no question that a wedding destination halfway around the world will have fewer guests than one in your hometown. Some guests will not be able to afford it, others will not be able to take the time and a majority of those ‘must-invite’ relatives and co-workers will graciously excuse themselves from the invitation.

Fewer people around means that you can spend more time with the ones who are there. Often guests view destination weddings as vacation opportunities, and will extend their trip into a full week, allowing the bride and groom to have lots of quality time together.

A smaller ceremony and guest list can help you focus on the important things, and not the chaos surrounding a large reception.

2. Cost effectiveness (for the couple!)

Chances are your destination wedding will cost less than the average American couple spends on their nuptials.  Even though you have to pay for transportation, shipping items ahead of time, and resort accommodation, a smaller guest list and favorable exchange rates will allow you to spend less while receiving equal or better quality. Often, the couple is able to splurge on things they would not be able to afford ‘back home’, such as an open bar, unique and personalized favors, a private tour of the area for all of the guests, or a morning-after brunch.

3. Extended vacation opportunity

The advantage of combing a wedding with a honeymoon destination is obvious. Instead of taking a week off of work prior to the wedding to organize and then rushing through a shortened honeymoon at an exotic location soon thereafter, couples can spend two weeks at their place of choice.

This doesn’t mean you have to honeymoon at the location where you were married. Although many people choose to do this, others will fly off to another resort in the same area, or, in visit another country before heading home.

4. Location, location, location!

The chances that Disney will build a replica of Cinderella’s carriage in Ontario for your fairy tale wedding are slim, so if that’s what you want, you’ll have to travel to where they are instead (hint: try Florida or California).

If your ideal wedding location is something more glamous (or warmer!) than you’ve got at home, you’re just going to have to pack your bags and jump on a plane to get there!

Reasons to avoid a Destination Wedding:

1. You want a big wedding

It’s going to be the wedding of the centry! A large church bursting with guests, a designer dress with a flowing train, an enormous ballroom reception that seats all of your 500 guests, with a stunning array of food and large dance floor with the city’s best DJ. 

It is possible to have a large destination wedding, but you won’t have nearly 500 people. Chances are your destination venue won’t seat more than a few hundred and your resort will probably host even less.

Although there are places that will cater to all your grandest wedding plans, expect an even greater amount of stress than you would planning a wedding of that size back home. There are pre-trip inspections, meetings with caterers, photographers and designers, and the coordination required with your must-have wedding planner.

Pick a place with an unfavorable exchange rate, such as Europe or French Polynesia, and you’ll also be looking at an even heftier bill than you would in North America. The bottom line? If you’re planning a large wedding, staying close to home might be best.

2. You want everyone to be there

Acceptance rates for destination weddings are lower than weddings close to home – usually 50 percent. This is due to varying factors including cost, time off work, inability to travel, etc. Those who are elderly, ill, or have small children probably won’t be able to make it either. If you and your fiancée are incredibly close to your family and friends and their presence at your wedding is very important to you, a destination wedding is not in the cards.

3. Control freak?

If you need to see things in person before making a decision, dislike shopping off the internet, or need to be involved in planning every detail, a destination wedding may not be for you.

Due to the distance, couples planning a destination wedding often rely on a wedding planner – or at least the internet – to plan their wedding. This is especially true if the wedding will occur in a foreign country and you do not speak the native language. As a result, things such as the hotel, reception site, design, and food may all be purchased ‘sight unseen’.

If you are unable to trust a wedding planner or travel websites to help with your destination wedding, don’t risk it.

4. Time constraints

If you only have a few days to spare for nuptial bliss, due to work, illness, or family requirements, you may not want to waste any precious time sitting around in airports. If you are working on a very tight timeline, consider marrying and celebrating your honeymoon later on when you actually have time to enjoy it!

For more Destination Wedding considerations, click on the links below. Bon Voyage!

Feature photo from AlexMoi Photography (destination wedding in Bali)

Wedding Dress Blog points out that “given that the average wedding these days will set you back about $20,000, you may be looking for ways to keep your special day from costing more than the down payment on your first condo. A little creative thinking can cut your wedding tab 25% to 50%. Think nontraditional. Think memorable. Think laser tag, as my colleague Robert Brokamp and his bride did for their nuptials…”

Wedding Dress Blog presents us with a few ways to save on your big day:

Timing is everything: Lovebirds pay a premium to tie the knot on a Saturday or in June. Pair the two and you’re facing a few extra Gs on the bill. Off months such as March and April are more affordable, as are morning weddings where expenses such as food, transportation, and hall rentals can be a lot cheaper.

Location, location, location: Modern Bride estimates that a wedding reception costing $4,000 in San Diego would cost $9,000 in Chicago and $15,000 in New York City. See? Even not-so-small towns have their charm. Wouldn’t your mom be thrilled if you got married in your childhood stomping grounds? Your guests will certainly appreciate cheaper lodging costs. Even if you live in a high-priced city, nontraditional places such as public parks and art galleries can cost less than rental halls and hotel ballrooms.

Bite your tongue: Anything that has the word “wedding” attached to it can instantly fetch a 25% premium (or more) over the generic version. When shopping for your cake, flowers, tablecloth, “ring pillow,” or dress, beeline away from any options preceded by the “w” word.

Put your pals to work: In lieu of another Crate & Barrel tchotchke, ask your talented friends for a gift that you could really use: their help. Perhaps you know someone who can perform music at the service (or change the CDs you and your sweetheart make yourself), take photographs, tend bar, or play videographer — all functions that will cost you $500-$900 to have someone else do. Chances are your best friend’s brother won’t charge a corking fee.

Trim the guest list: At $80 per person for food, wine, cake, napkins, and every one of your variable costs, this is the fastest way to save. Remember, this isn’t just some kegger that’s open to all of your office mates. It’s your wedding.

Just say “no”: Anti-etiquette bride and author of Fire Your Wedding Planner Stephi Stewart says that assertive brides and grooms need to learn to just say “no.” Party favors? Feh. Engraved napkins? Puh-leeze.

Dream of the future: Before you shampoo the rice and rose petals out of your hair, start planning your financial future — together. Saving for a house, college for future critters, paying cash for a vacation — these should all be things in the back of your mind before you write a check for your wedding gown.

Image from weddingscenter.com

What you need to do first is create a list, and put it in prioritized order.  This will lay the groundwork for every single decision you will have to make about your wedding.  Refer to this list to determine how your budget is structured and what shape your wedding will take.  If you concentrate on your top priorities, the rest of your wedding planning will fall into place.

This is what Big-Wedding-Tiny-Budget calls a Sane and Sweet Step in the Cheap Wedding Planning Process. It will keep you both Sane – (NO! DON’T JUMP!) – and you Sweet!

WEDDING PLANNING PRIORITIES:

(Don’t forget to let your fiancé pick one or two. OK – Just one)

• Number of Guests
• Location
• Ceremony Site
• Reception Site
• Season
• Time of Day
• Formal, Semi-formal, Informal
• Photography
• Videography
• The Dress
• Flowers
• Beverages: Full Bar versus partial or none
• Music
• Cake
• Food/Catering: Lunch, Brunch, Cocktails, Hors d’œuvres, Dinner, Desserts
• Other (you fill it in!)

Prioritize the list, and then highlight the top five. So far so good! You will now refer to your Wedding Budget Guideline and figure out how much money will be allowed for each priority. Although every wedding is different, below you will find the average percentages normally spent on each category.

• Ceremony – 2%  (Location Fee, Officiant, Accessorites/Lagniapp)
• Reception – 48%  (Location Fee, Rentals, Food, Wait Staff and Gratuity, Beverages, Bar Service and Gratuity, Cake and Cutting Fee)
• Bride’s Attire – 10% -(Wedding Dress, Veil, Shoes, Undergarment)
• Photography/Videography – 10%
• Music – 10%
• Flowers – 10%
• Invitations – 4%
• Lagniappe (Miscellaneous) – 6% – Transportation, valet, thank you stationary, etc.

Do some research online or using your phone book to get an idea of what things cost in your area. Then you’ll be able to realistically allocate your available money toward each category.

The great thing about your budget is that you can continually adjust  your money allocation as you save money along the way. To do this, take a look at big-wedding-tiny-budget‘s website for more money saving tips.  For example, let’s say your budget is $5,000 so you have allocated 10% ($500) on your dream wedding dress. Well as luck would have it, you found your dream dress at a sample sale for $200… Voila! Now you have $300 to allocate somewhere else in your budget.

Luckily, planning your big wedding on a tiny budget does not mean you have to sacrifice your taste and personal style. With some thoughtful planning and attention to saving money, you’re on your way to a gorgeous affair that with memories to last a lifetime!

See Wedding Planning Priorites: Part 2: Should it really be a priority?

Not to keep rubbing it in… but with the barrage of news stories like these, what can you expect!?

Although some may say weddings are “recession-proof” (we can hope!) these headlines seem to differ….

Wine-country weddings, recession style

Budget-minded brides seek out thrifty elegance

Brides make mad dash for discounted wedding dresses

Budget Brides: Planning a wedding during a recession

10 Ways to have a Frugal but Fabulous Wedding

So we know all about the recession, the layoffs, the foreclosures. What it all means for couples getting married is that shelling out tens of thousands for a one-day event probably isn’t the smartest investment. According to the Press Democrat, a recent study published in the Wedding Report, said the average spending on weddings fell by 24 percent in 2008, to about $22,000. “Everyone is looking to save a little,” said Santa Rosa caterer Rob Gronbach, who’s been doing local and “destination” weddings for 19 years. “There’s a lot of apprehension, a lot of foot-dragging.”

So now, brides and grooms are opting for a more basic wedding that leaves them with money for a down payment, a new car, or just to tuck away as a nest egg. Brides and grooms are shopping around for the best deals, cutting costs wherever they can, and trying to plan as far in advance as possible. Here are still more ideas on how to have a Frugal but Fabulous Wedding, from Boston.com.

1.What Matters the Most?

You may want to pick one or two things to make really special, rather than spread your money around and do everything minimally, advises Linda Matzkin, owner of Hopple Popple Inc. event planners in Newton. She suggests putting in order what matters most to you, such as food, music, flowers, keepsake album, and so on. Then you’ll know which vendors to splurge on and where to economize.

2. Say No to Third Cousins

Inviting every distant relative and co-worker is really what makes budgets balloon, according to Samantha Goldberg, a television personality and celebrity event designer in New Jersey. “Just include your nearest and dearest.”

3. Forgo that Saturday night June wedding

Avoiding Saturdays or considering off-season months can save bundles. A Friday night during peak periods or a weekend in January, February, or March can sometimes save almost 25 percent, says Daniel Briones, president of the National Association of Catering Executives. “And winter weddings,” he adds, “can be quite beautiful.”

4. Get Thee to a Wedding Planner

It may sound odd to economize by hiring someone to do things you could do yourself, but wedding planners save you more than just time. “You’ve never done this before. How do you know you’re getting the best value without an expert?” asks Briones, who’s also director of catering at the Four Seasons Hotel in Philadelphia. Wedding planners know vendors in every price range and can also spare you from making costly mistakes in contract negotiations. And couples on a small budget shouldn’t be intimidated about calling for an appointment, she adds. “Many companies like ours work on labor and consultation fees, not a percentage of the overall cost. We have no vested interest in how much someone spends,” she says. At the very least, she suggests buying Mindy Weiss’s The Wedding Book: The Big Book for Your Big Day, published last spring, for tips on planning and economizing: “It’s the best I’ve read.”

5. Dine early, Dine for less

The timing of your meal can save you money!  “A meal during the day is less expensive than a dinner, and people consume less alcohol,” Briones explains. Consider a late Saturday afternoon lunch or a Sunday brunch.  Regarding buffets, it’s a mistake to think it will cost less than a served meal because it requires less staffing. Not only do buffets require more food to be displayed, but “people tend to serve themselves more than they’re possibly going to eat.”

6. Surprise me! Saving on centerpieces

Rather than picking the type of flowers, pick a talented florist who can design something spectacular with what’s readily available. Special orders are what drive up the prices of centerpieces and bouquets, while “stock” flowers — in-store your wedding week — tend to be quite reasonable. Or, Goldberg suggests, buy wide-diameter bark or pillar candles and sprinkle rose petals around them on the table. You get romantic lighting and a bargain centerpiece all in one.

7. Dim the lights

And speaking of mood lighting, Goldberg maintains it can totally transform any space inexpensively. “It re-creates everything and really impacts your photos.” Dimmed chandeliers, flickering candles, and amber-tinted bulbs can be directed on the table linens and guests’ faces to make the room positively glow, she says. “The venue can have the ugliest carpeting, and with the right lighting, no one will ever notice.”

8. Choose Rings With a Past

That gorgeous diamond you covet might be a bargain at an antiques store or estate sale. Another option: Visit the website IDoNowIDont.com, where people sell their new and vintage diamond rings (certified, and often with a fun history) with payments not processed until you’re satisfied. The site claims you can find rings up to half off their original price.

9. Go the Distance

Exchanging vows on an exotic island can actually lower your wedding budget. “First, the couple is already in their honeymoon destination,” says Susan Biemans, co-owner of the Bucuti Beach Resort in Aruba, named last year as one of the top 10 romantic resorts in the world by TripAdvisors. Other reasons, according to Biemans: Resorts see weddings as a draw to fill hotel rooms, so they reduce catering and service fees; fewer guests are willing to travel, which cuts down your list; and when the backdrop is a sunset over the ocean, even a simple, inexpensive arch with flowing linens and a few flowers looks amazing.

10. Avoid an outrageous registry

Sure you can register for a pricey china pattern you otherwise couldn’t afford, but in this economy, how many will you actually receive? Take advantage of today’s mix-and-match trend, says Sheri Singer, registry manager at Bloomingdale’s. A basic white china pattern can be transformed when combined with an exquisite charger and salad plate. Or mix dramatic champagne flutes with less expensive glasses, made even more glamorous if all are tinted different colors.