It’s amazing, points out Katherine DalPra (owner/designer for Green Diva, an online boutique of eco-friendly bridal jewelry) how uneducated and distanced we’ve become from the goods we buy.  We don’t know where our jewelry comes from, and who has been affected by it. “Behind some of our most beloved purchases… there is a dirty secret involving worker exploitation, toxic pollution and cultural destruction.”

Among the sins that you DON’T want to be supporting are violent conflict and forced labor. Miners and gemstone artisans are often underpaid and work in unsafe conditions. Metal mining is the number one toxic polluter in America, and is also the cause of Acid Mine Drainage, which is destroying our drinkable water sources.

Luckily, there are several options for sourcing ethical engagement rings from people that have made a great effort to get it right. If you’re not into wooden rings, synthetic stones, or rings constructed of your own bone, here are some trusted sources you might want to consider buying from.

CRED Jewellery

The world’s first Fair Trade jewelery retailer, CRED has pioneered the search for transparent, ethical sources of precious metals and stones, delivering the first truly ethical wedding rings in 2003.  Their engagement rings combine classic and contemporary styling with the finest ethically-sourced diamonds and Oro Verde™ Fair Trade metals to perfectly encapsulate your values and your love.

C5 Company

C5 company is a leader in sustainable fine jewelry. They offer beautiful, well-crafted, ready-to-wear pieces and custom jewelry that you can feel good about purchasing, gifting and wearing.

All of their jewelry is made with 100% recycled precious metals and ethically sourced gems and diamonds (both fair-trade mined and lab-created) to ensure that C5 company jewelry has minimal environmental and social impact.

Below: Estate diamonds reset in recycled palladium; Lab-created rubies set in recycled palladium.

Green Karat

Green Karat has a mission, to provide an ecologically and socially responsible jewelry alternative to those who seek change. If you want to become part of the solution, they want to help you.

Did you know that there is enough gold above ground (already mined) to satisfy all demands of the jewelry industry for the next 50 years? Much of it sits in bank vaults and in the form of old and unused jewelry.  Green Karat believes that buying recycled gold is one of the most ecologically and socially responsible choices a consumer can make.

Artisan Wedding Rings

These unique wedding rings and engagement ring sets are heirloom quality and made by artisans with recycled gold, silver and platinum. Artisan use the most ethically sourced diamonds and gemstones available anywhere.

Brilliant Earth

“Luxury with a Conscience” brings you uncompromisable ethics and meticulous craftsmanship. Their jewelry is created with the highest quality Canadian Conflict Free Diamond Jewelry™ made with renewed gold and platinum. They also supply Ethical origin Namibian diamonds, and 5% of all profits are donated in Africa.

To learn about fair trade, conflict-free diamonds, eco-friendly, recycled metals and responsibly-made jewelry, visit any of the websites mentioned here! For a list of more ethical jewelry suppliers, visit this page at the natural wedding company.

After all, diamonds are forever… and diamonds are a girls best friend… so choose wisely!

Shown: Tacori

Vintage Engagement Rings

Old Stones and antique settings prove that old is new again!

Shown: Doyle & Doyle $2,950; Gray & Davis $1500.00

Solitaire Engagement Rings

This elegant, timeless style is more popular than ever!

Shown: Cartier, Harry Winston

Garden Inspired Engagement Rings

The floral trend: where stones and flowers meld together!

Shown: De Beers $12,000; Christopher Designs $21,100

Green Engagement Rings

These brilliant, eye-catching gems with have you green with envy!

Shown: Tiffany & Co. $7,300;  Blue Nile $13,000

Rose Gold Engagement Rings

Platinum and yellow gold are classic choices, but rose gold is for the bold!

Shown: Neil Lane $120,000; Bulgari $7,900

These trends & photos are via InStyle Weddings. For more engagement ring pictures, visit InStyle Weddings!

And I rarely even think about them.

Not so with most women, according to this piece by Simon Mills, titled What men really think about women and their obsession with wedding rings.  He accuses ladies these days  of being completely obsessed with wedding rings, noting with glee which celebrities are wearing theirs and which ones are not.

Madonna is ring-less?

The man thinks: “Perhaps she left it on the bathroom sink. Perhaps she wanted to give her famously bony fingers a rest. Perhaps she’d just been doing a bit of yoga, or cleaning the bath with a dab of powerful and potentially corrosive Cillit Bang (OK, unlikely).”

The woman chooses to: “immediately opt for the most emotionally overwrought, worst case scenario of infidelity, public cuckolding and long, drawn-out marital meltdown.”

Mr. Mills, who has been married for over a decade, doesn’t even know if his wife wears her rings, he hasn’t noticed. If he did want to sneak a peek, he isn’t sure which finger he should be looking at. (Note to guys: It’s usually the ring finger on the left hand– that’s the finger next to your pinkie!) “The banal, cod-forensic examination of female digits for those telltale signs of marital unrest, infidelity or impending divorce is, to us, not only just a little bit creepy, but also one of those things… that men just don’t get. We are, if you pardon the dreadful pun, completely bored of the rings.”

An interesting side note, according to StreetDirectory:

In ancient times, accepting a wedding ring constituted a legally binding agreement between husband and wife. The wife became property of the husband, a holding of sorts. It also represented protection to the wife—a protection against challengers seizing her legal and rightful position in a power grab.

Early Egyptian wedding rings were simple circular bands, crudely crafted from indigenous materials such as hemp and reeds. The lifespan of the average wedding ring was approximately one year. It’s a safe bet that the average marriage outlasted the average wedding band, since the eternal circle signified eternal love and devotion.

… In ancient times, wedding bands occupied the third finger on the left hand just as they do today. The significance of the third finger was the belief that the vein in the third finger, the ‘vena amoris,’ led directly to the heart.

There actually is no vena amoris. The origin of the wedding ring is unromantic, to say the least. Folklore and superstition form most of its symbolism.  Rings are awkward and expensive.  So why wear one anyway?  Today people choose to see the circular shape of a ring as symbolic of “eternity, endlessness, and something that can not be broken. Wedding rings are given as a token of unending love for each other. Traditionally, as a symbol of strength in the marriage, wedding rings are made from a metal.”

Whether or not you wear your ring on your finger, we hope that the feeling of “eternity and unending love” will rest be in our hearts always.  And let Madonna worry about her own marriage.

1. Let your guests know as soon as possible.

If your wedding is called off after the invitations are mailed and time is running short before the planned date, then you–or a friend or a family member–must pick up the phone and call each guest to inform them of the cancellation.

If time allows, it is also acceptable to send an announcement. It should be a simple printed card that says the wedding will not take place. No details necessary!

2. Get back your money.

While the emotional trauma of canceling a wedding always outweighs its financial repercussions, there are still lots of money-related tasks that need to be taken care of–and fast.

As soon as you know the wedding is off, let all your vendors know.

Even if you terminate early, most wedding contracts stipulate that a deposit will not be refunded. Generally speaking, though, if vendors can rebook the date, they will return most, if not all, of your money. But if your vendors are unable to rebook the space, or, if in the case of a dress or event designer, they have spent much money or time on your wedding, they are obligated to refund only what they deem appropriate.

Your best bet is to rely on the sympathy of your suppliers rather than take an argumentative or confrontational tone when you ask about the possibility of a refund.

Traditionally, wedding insurance only covers situations that are out of the bride’s and groom’s control. Some policies do cover a “change of heart,” but in those cases, there are limits for how much insurance companies will reimburse you. And to claim those funds, you must also prove that you were the person that was dumped and left, as they say, “stranded.”

3. Gifts have to go back, too.

All gifts, from toasters to flatware, should be sent back to the giver. The returned espresso machine doesn’t need an in-depth explanation, just a note saying that, under the circumstances, you can’t accept this lovely gift. If, as is increasingly the case, you have already used the gift, you must send an identical replacement or its monetary equivalent.

4. Yes, the ring should be returned to the purchaser.

Of course, this is the crucial issue. Does the bride really have to give back that gorgeous rock? Hundreds of court cases have been tried on this subject and produced varied verdicts. Some judges ruled that the “donor” gets to keep the ring; others decided that it depends on who broke off the engagement.

Personally, I agree with Jennifer Lopez, who returned a 6.1-carat pink Harry Winston ring to Ben Affleck in 2004. It doesn’t matter what the legal system says; propriety dictates that the ring should go back to the purchaser.

5. Reimburse attendants for their expenses.

If your bridesmaids and groomsmen have already bought their outfits, reserved hotel rooms or paid for airline tickets, you should pay them back. There’s no wiggle room on this one.

6. Seek professional counseling.

Those of us in the wedding business often hear stories about brides who, after being left at the altar, decide to hold the party anyway. They reportedly dance with abandon, seemingly unconcerned that there wasn’t a ceremony before the reception. But I suspect many of these tales are urban myths.

The truth is, it’s traumatizing for the jilted partner, and the bride and groom both need time to regain their composures. Just like in a divorce, sometimes the ex-couple makes bad decisions out of anger or hurt. Take a break from interacting with each other until you are both calm–which might be several weeks, at best–and make sure there is an objective, unemotional mediator present when you do decide to talk.

photo credit: Flickr