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Wedding Registry Do’s and Dont’s

dena — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 18:09:25 +0000

You’ve got that registry gun thingy ready to go! Because when will you get another chance to walk into a department store and indulge your every whim without worrying about the price? But more than just the ultimate shopping trip, setting up a registry is an efficient way to let guests know what kind of gift you actually want. A registry also keeps track of who bought what and reduces the chance of receiving those hideous pieces that you can’t imagine anyone would want! Even if you already have all the household items you need, registering is helpful for guests who want to get you something but need some extra guidance.

Don’t Go Crazy

You only need to register at two or three stores you love. Choose a national department store or chain that has lots of household basics; add a local specialty store if you want to. For your guests’ sake, you may want to choose stores that are low-, medium-, and high-end, so that there are gifts in a variety of price ranges to choose from.

Do Register Ahead of Time

Try to complete your registry a few months before the wedding. This will give guests time to purchase gifts for the big day, but also for your engagement and a shower.

Don’t Put it in Your Invitation

Once you have registered, give the information to immediate family and the wedding party, and let them spread the word. If you are asked where you have registered, it is fine for you to tell, but it is not proper to include registry information in a wedding invitation. Registry information can be included on a wedding website, as long as the actual name of the store is not included on the same layer; organize your website so that guests must click down one level to find the details.

Do Register for Enough Gifts

Register for more gifts than you have guests, so there will be plenty of items to choose from. As mentioned above, register for gifts in a wide range of prices, or choose individual items rather than sets, as with pots and pans, for instance. It is fine to put a few expensive items on your registry, but balance them with equally lovely options that are more affordable.

Don’t Ask for Money

While it’s still considered tacky to ask for money directly, financial registries try to make this less awkward; for example, couples can now register online for stocks, honeymoon expenses, and even toward a down payment on a house.

Do write Thank You Notes Right Away

If your registry doesn’t automatically notify you when a gift has been purchased, review your registry every few weeks, and more frequently as the wedding approaches. Use your updated registry to help you keep up with writing thank-you notes.

Don’t Limit Yourself

Registry expert Mary Rose Gearon offers the following advice: “Don’t think just about your lifestyle as it is today. You’ll be entertaining more in the years to come, so create a wish list of items: a platter for your first Thanksgiving dinner or champagne glasses for a New Year’s toast. Keep those special occasions in mind; it’s a wonderful way to include loved ones in those important milestones.”

Don’t Forget to Register for the Basics

Funky bedspreads and whimsical wall hangings are well and good, but don’t forget the more useful – though duller – basics, such as measuring cups, can openers, garlic press, spatulas, kitchen timer, mixing bowls, knives, cookware, storage containers, etc.

Do Write Thank-You Notes Right Away

Ideally, you should acknowledge every present immediately; writing a note the day you receive it is best, but sending it within two weeks is also acceptable. Of course, the period surrounding your wedding is a busy time; if you fall behind, just make every effort to send a thank you as soon as you can — but no later than three months after the event.

Don’t Worry if You Don’t Get Everything on Your Registry

If you don’t receive everything you registered for, don’t fret. Many stores have a completion program, which offers a discount on remaining items, or will keep the registry active for anywhere from a few months to a few years, so friends and relatives can continue to purchase gifts from it as other joyous occasions arise.

Do Mix-and-Match China

You can choose a variety of differnt patterns (for example, one for dinner plates, one for salad plates, and one for soup bowls) as long as there is a common theme that pulls them all together, such as a unifying color. In the photo below, the underlying celadon shade, delicate details, and gold embellishments — make these pieces perfect dining companions.

See more examples of mix-n-matched place settings here.

Do Include a Charitable Organization

It seems more and more brides and grooms are building charitable giving into their wedding plans, whether to honor a loved one who would have been part of their special day or simply because their own cabinets and closets are already well equipped. “Whatever the reason, incorporating charitable giving into their wedding lets couples share what’s important to them,” says Bethany Robertson, executive director of the I Do Foundation, a group that sets up such registries. Read more here.

Top 3 Wedding Registry “Must Have’s”

dena — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 20:23:18 +0000

According to InStyle Weddings, here are today’s hottest new must-have items for your wedding china gift list.

Silver Streak

A silver motif is always classic, no matter how modern the design.

Pictured: “Embroidered” Collection, Jasper Conran, 5 pc. place setting, $149; wedgwoodusa.com or Macy’s and Bloomingdales store nationwide. Gardner St. Platinum” Collection, Kate Spade, 5 pc. place setting, $139; katespade.com or 1-800-999kate.

Ruffles

The soft, petal-like edges provide a decorative element without the addition of color. The scalloped border softens the edges to give the setting a more demure feel.

Pictured: Olivier Gold” Collection, Royal Limoges, 5 pc. place setting, $395; michaelcfina.com. Linden Street Collection, JC Penney, salad plate, $9.99; mug, $7.99; JC Penney stores nationwide.

Butterflies

The Victorian-inspired style feels like an heirloom collection passed down through the family, bringing old-world elegance to your table. Alternatively, the cool black & white keeps the butterflies from being too girly.

Pictured: “Kurland Meadow Flowers” Collection, KPM, 5 pc. place setting, $2,040; michaelcfina.com. “Flutter” Bone China Collection, Simply Fine Lenox , 4 pc. place setting, $143; lenox.com or 1-800-63LENOX.

Visit InStyle Weddings for more wedding registry trends and ideas!

Wedding Registries, Charities, and Goats

dena — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 20:03:59 +0000

People often have mixed feelings about wedding registries. On the one hand, no one wants to risk buying you a gift you hate or already own, and a registry saves your guests hassle on that account. But it’s a bit awkward asking for gifts. And I clearly remember being overwhelmed by all the choices, as I stood there with the registry gun at Bed, Bath, & Beyond, trying to figure out what to include on my list. Sheets. Towels. Flatware. Useful but incredibly boring. My mother ended up doing a lot of nudging. She is, in fact, the one who brought me to BB&B to register in the first place. I didn’t know, at the time, that I could register at Target! Or any of the other cooler, less traditional registry things people do.

But there are lots and lots of other options out there. Like goats. Did you ever think of registering for goats? Unless you plan on moving to a farm or really want to make your own goat cheese, chances are you haven’t thought about it. But one amazing couple, as reported by A Practical Wedding, wanted to do good with their registry. Instead of using the opportunity to just build their own home, they chose to help other people strengthen their homes as well. (No need to give up your own wedding gifts, this is IN ADDITION TO the traditional household registry items!)

Aimee and Mihn called it The Goat Project. Aimee saw the effects of this program personally while in Uganda. It is run by TPO Uganda (a local Ugandan NGO that provides psychosocial support and mental health care to communities, families and individuals in conflict and post conflict settings), and administered in the U.S. by the Polus Center for Social and Economic Development. In their own words, here’s how the program works:

Children with special needs in refugee camps and rural villages throughout east Africa often are hidden from society, ignored or abused and considered cursed. An announcement is made in the villages that a goat will be given by TPO to any special needs child, which provides visibility to the families so that proper care and support may be given. Families are taught the actual potential and limitations of their children, and often realize they are not alone, as other families with special needs children also become visible. Community is engaged in dialogue and learning, and attitudes slowly transform. The goats provide nutritious and necessary milk and, after bred, food for families in dire straits. Finally, the child, who now owns a goat, has status within the family and community, and a small charge to care for and love. The ripple effects have been astonishing. All for a $45 goat!

Did anyone purchase a goat for Aimee and Mihn? Oh yes! And what did the guests have to say? Although some were skeptical at first, in the end they LOVED it!

We received goats all right, plus a ton of animated phone calls and giddy emails from our loved ones, telling us how excited they were about their gift to us. Even at our reception, right on the dance floor, we had friends and family eagerly sharing their goat gifts with glee! How happy is that?! We also could have never anticipated the extent of our own excitement. The first time we received a certificate saying that our friends had donated goats in honor of our upcoming marriage, Aimee cried. We knew at that moment that our wedding was extending far beyond ourselves.

And I think that is a really beautiful thing. Because a wedding should be a time to extend beyond ourselves. Creating a marriage and building a home is a beautiful, personal thing, but it is a million times more beautiful when it touches and enlightens the world we live in.

The Dos and Don’ts of Wedding Registries

dena — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 20:06:39 +0000

The wedding registry can be a confusing and touchy subject for both the bride and her guests. Brides might wonder: Do I have to register? What if I don’t really need household things? Are there other alternatives? Of course the guests have their own questions? Do I have to buy something on the registry? How much do I need to spend? If I bought an engagement gift, do I also have buy a wedding present?

I was reading All About RegistriesQ&A at the Washington Post, moderated by Summer Krecke, deputy editor at WeddingChannel.com. Although there are some things that she claims to be standard registry etiquette, quite a few brides and guests feel differently. Here are some common questions and answers, adapted from the All About Registries Q&A.

Q. Why do I need to create a gift registry?

A. Registries help guide guests. Gift giving shouldn’t be stressful for guests who don’t know exactly what a couple wants. Gift giving is supposed to be a point of pleasure and joy. The guest wants to give something they know the couple will love!

Q. We’re just not a thing-oriented couple. For our own wedding, we’d really like to avoid the whole gift thing altogether How can we get that word out without being tacky or rude?

A. Alternative registries like Amazon.com or Cloud 9 Living (where you register for activities) are totally acceptable. Other ideas are honeymoon or activity registry, which includes things you’d love to experience like a hot air balloon ride, horseback riding, or spa treatment. Another popular trend is creating a charity registry ( you can do this at WeddingChannel.com). But not having a registry is really not a good idea, because it leaves people without a clue as to what you want.

Q. How does the charity registry work? It sounds like a fabulous idea!

A. You can go to WeddingChannel.comand set up a charity registry. You will find an entire list of popular charities to choose from. You can either request a direct donation or create a regular registry and every time a guest purchases a gift through WeddingChannel.com, a percentage is sent to the charity in your honor.

Q. I think that asking for money — in any way — be it honeymoon fund, house fund, etc. — is just tacky with a capital T.

A. Correct: asking for money is a big NO-NO. If you would prefer money, it’s OK to share that information privately with people like your bridesmaids so they can pass the message along. You should still create a registry for those guests that aren’t comfortable giving money and prefer to give you an actual present.

Q. Two of my very close friends are getting hitched, and their registry is full of blah things like glassware and dust busters. I want to get them something more personal, but is it uncouth to ignore the registry if they’ve taken the time to put it together?

A. If you are absolutely certain your personal gift with thrill the new couple, go right ahead! But if you are uncertain,stick to something on the registry and add a personal touch. If they’re registered for a beautiful frame, buy it and add a great photo. A wine glass set? Get them a case of their favorite wine to go along with it!

Q. Do I really need to make purchases for the engagement, the bridal shower and the wedding? I’ve been invited to a series of parties for a number of friends, and every invite I receive to these events contain their registry information! I wish I could buy you that $400 vacuum, but I can’t even buy one for myself.

A. Gifts are not necessary for an engagement party. A card or bottle of wine would be great! If you are invited to a wedding you should give a gift, but give what you can. The most important thing when creating a gift registry (and I do think couples should have them as an assist to their guests) is to have gifts ranging from $5 to whatever you think is appropriate. Make sure you have inexpensive options.

Q. I’m traveling to be the best man in my friend’s wedding. I am spending lots of time and money to travel to the party. What is an appropriate gift for my friend… or is my presence presents enough?

A. Being in a wedding can involve lots of extra expenses. Perhaps you could pool with a bigger group to purchase something really nice for the bride and groom. You might want to discuss it with other members of the bridal party and see what you can come up with.

Q. Is it acceptable to include registry info in a wedding invitation?

A. Registry info should not be included in your invitation and instead should be supplied on your wedding website or through someone in your bridal party. It is completely unacceptable to include registry information with an invitation to any event other than a shower!

Q. As a future bride, I feel that gifts are completely OPTIONAL, whether or not you attend the wedding. Don’t you think most friends just want to celebrate with you? I would rather have my friend’s presence than their presents!

A. This is not a black and white issue — a guest should measure her involvement and expenses against her relationship with the couple.