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“But like everything else, if you want to pull it off and not drive yourself nuts, there are rules,” says The Broke Ass Bride.  Here she lays down the laws of iPod-ing your wedding music:

1. Check with your venue about their sound system, what kind of equipment they have to attach speakers to, and whether you can get the speakers from them, or if you have to rent them.

2. Test the speaker system, leaving plenty of time to make changes if you have to (not at the rehearsal dinner).

3. Figure out the logistics, including moving the system from the ceremony to the cocktail hour to the reception. Bring extension cords if necessary.

4. Pick someone to monitor the music, because YOU will be a little too busy during the the wedding to deal with it. Give them a list of all the songs in your playlist(s), and review it to make sure they’re all on there.

5. Make a separate playlist for each segment of your wedding – ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, first dance, cake cutting, bouquet throw, open dance floor, etc. Put them all in order.

6. The ceremony: Decide who is going to walk down and whether they will walk in to the same music. Use cross-fading so you’re not being jolted from one song to another.

7. Cocktail hour:  You  need about 18-20 songs, depending on the length, to fill an hour. It’s a good idea to throw a few extra songs, just in case you’re not feeling whatever’s playing at the time.

8. Dinner: Create a good mix of fast, medium, and slow songs. You don’t want music that will put your guests to sleep, but you want them to enjoy their dinner in peace, too. Decide if you want to play straight through or shuffle your playlist. (Broke Ass Bride notes that her ipod and itunes playlists tend to shuffle in the same order. Anyone else notice that?)

9. Reception events: In case the timing is off, it’s good to keep each in a different playlist, instead of throwing them all together.

10. Open dance floor: Its party time! You want to get everyone on the dance floor, so think about your crowd and what will get them out of their seats. Hip hop? Country? Sinatra and the Rat Pack? Show tunes? Throw in a little somethin’ for everyone!

And here’s link to $3 in MP3s on Amazon.com that we’ll pass along from The Broke Ass Bride. They download directly into itunes for you. Now check out the rest of her blog for more bold and original approaches to wedding planning and healthy budgeting.

This is also a great idea for family and friends of the bride and groom, who are looking for a good way to praise the couple and entertain the guests all at the same time!

Well Offbeat Bride has a great commentary on how to avoid being tacky when planning your wedding. Basically, um, don’t even try.  Because someone, somewhere, is bound to think something about your wedding is tacky:

People are worried their centerpieces will look tacky. People decree honeymoon registries tacky. There’s muttering over etiquette: “I want to do things this way … but is that tacky?” brides whisper in terror. Tacky: the dark evil that sneaks into your bedroom and eats your face at night.

I’m here to tell you that, YES: everything you want to do for your wedding is tacky. All of it. The red dress is tacky. The handmade paper flowers are tacky. Your custom-designed invitations? TACKY.

Because you see, “tacky” is in the eye of the beholder and there is always, always going to be someone who sees things differently than you. (Read the rest here!)

You’ve got to focus on pleasing yourself. As Offbeat Bride defines it, “tacky is the manifestation of your fears that people won’t approve of your wedding.”

Nevertheless, I’m going to go ahead and state that some things are pretty much universally agreed on as being tacky. That’s why there are websites out there like Tacky Weddings, where you can stare, horrified, at brides in thongs, bridesmaids in neon pink bras, wedding logo overload (“If you’re looking for wedding logos stamped all over everything like Chinese water torture thumped into your head over and over, you’ve come to the right place.”), sex on the beach cake toppers, and the ultimate slutty bridal gown.

Despite all this, Tacky Weddings does share the viewpoint that  “Your wedding is your day, do what you want, do what makes you happy and to hell with what anyone else thinks.   Be proud of your day, shout it from the mountaintops!!  What one person thinks is tacky another person may see as fun and innovative.   My opinion is no better (and no worse) than anyone else’s. It’s not the end all be all, me liking or not liking a perfect stranger’s wedding does not change a thing. The moral of this story?  Who cares what I think about your wedding Yanna, I am nobody.  Rock what you’re gonna rock, and flip everyone the bird.” (Who is Yanna? Check it out!)

But I’m going to go ahead and give you a few pointers on avoiding tacky, in light of what is generally considered to be tasteful and appropriate for a wedding. This is only my opinion, so feel free to add something in the comment section!

Wearing Slutty outfits: Even if it’s part of a theme–especially if it’s part of your theme… (Join us at our Stripper Extravaganza!) The bride and bridal party can be beautiful and sexy while still leaving something to the imagination. Skin-tight spandex, overflowing bosoms, bare midriffs… well, unless you plan to wed in a nightclub, it’s just not appropriate wedding attire.

Asking for Money. You gotta know your audience, but generally making people pay for their wedding meal or having a dollar dance (where guests are supposed to line up to dance with the bride and stuff money into her apron) should be avoided (unless, of course, this is some kind of family tradition?).

Playing Crude Music: Dedicating a song to the bride is sweet… but not when it’s “Crazy B—”.  Giving Grandma a heart attack over desert is not the best way to end off your big day. Getting blasted with “It’s Getting Hot in Here, So Take Off All Your Clothes” is a bit shocking too, especially when you’re in middle of a conversation with the Rebbetzin (that happened to me at a wedding.)

Being Pissed… and Showing it:  As much as you planned and prepared, something is bound to be less than perfect. You gotta be prepared to roll with the punches, not like one bride who was “cursing and complaining as she stomped around” lighting tea lights that the staff forgot to turn on.  I bet no one thought she looked particularly attractive. Remember, handsome is as handsome does.

Homemade cookies: Do you like to bake? One bride and her mother made homemade cookies the week before the wedding. They include an old recipe (Christmas cookies they make together every year), a new recipe (chocolate cherry cookies), a borrowed recipe (chocolate chip), and a something blue (sugar cookie sprinkled in blue).

Drinks: One sophisticated couple (via The Knot) featured drinks such as Gin & Tonic, Blushing Bride, French Kiss Martini, and Blue Moon beer. Another ideas is to choose four well-known cocktails such as a dirty martini (old), a mango (new), a French martini (borrowed, say, from a friend’s wedding), and an electric lemonade (blue). (image from chakpak.com)

Wedding Cake: Embellish your cake according to the classic formula. For something old, use your parent’s cake topper or a family heirloom like a broach. Something new could be fresh flowers or decorative crystals. Then decorate your cake with blueberries, blue fondant flowers, or blue piping.

(images from flickr consumed by cake and the funky cake co)

Ceremony: Choose “something old” that is meaningful to you, such as a passage from the Bible. For something new, you can select a newly published poem, or something you’ve written yourself.  “Borrow” a passage, song, or prayer from the wedding ceremony of a couple that you admire. “Something blue” calls for a creative touch, like playing “Love is Blue” or “Blue without You.”

(image from millitaylor.com)

Favors: Give your guests “something old, something new” with these adorable favors from American Bridal. Your guests will be charmed by these cented soaps, tied with a blue satin ribbon, and tied with a charm that reads “Something…”

Have you heard any interesting twists on “something old, something new?” We’d love to hear about it!

feature image from the knot

Wedding planner and designer Terrica Skaggs, in Ten Secrets to Planning a Successful Wedding Your Friends Will Envy, quotes the saying “If you stand for nothing you’ll fall for anything.” The same thing is true when it comes to wedding themes. If you don’t have one, you’ll end up with numerous unrelated elements just thrown together.  Having a theme pulls the whole event together, from food to music to favors, and makes your planning process that much simpler.

If you find yourself thinking, “But I don’t want a theme! I just want a simple wedding where my friends and family will have a great time!” there is good news.  A wedding theme doesn’t need to be elaborate or extravagant, such as “Mardi Gras Masquerade” or “Mediterranean Dream.”  You just need to pick something that’s meaningful to you, or something that suits your style, and be consistent. Even your colors can be a theme!

Here are some tips on choosing a wedding theme:

1. Think about who you and your fiance are, and what you stand for. What are your hobbies? What are you passionate about? What appeals to you? If you’re all about laid-back fun, than “backyard barbecue” can be your theme (even if you’re not having your wedding in a backyard!). If you both love opera, then make that your theme. If you love nature and preserving the environment, go for a “natural” theme. You can also use cultural or ethnic themes. And hey, if the color yellow makes you happy, then use that as your central theme!

2.  If you do pick a color as theme, be consistent. If you choose pink and green, decide what shades you like, and stick to it. Try to use a maximum of three complimentary colors, and keep them in season. “Having specific wedding colors can help give a visual unity, and help your wedding seem more elegant, and even more expensive than it really is,” according to About Weddings.

3. A theme can be ANYTHING.. a season (autumn), an era (Victorian), a country (Italian), a sport (baseball), a flower (sunflowers), a design (polka dots)… Try picking one word (or phrase) as your theme, something that expresses the mood or style of your wedding: Romantic, whimsical, Gothic, modern, Art Deco, moonlight, floral… you get the point!

4. Perk up your venue with little touches that reflect your theme. Implement things like flowers, greenery, candles, sashes, seashells, and lanterns into your decor.  In this way you can transform even the plainest venue into something that looks like a million dollars, as well as save yourself some money, and give your theme authenticity.  Hang sparkling snowflakes from the ceiling for a winter wedding, use watering cans to hold your centerpieces for a “garden” wedding, or sea shells for an ocean themed wedding.

5. Play music that echos your theme. Whether you have a DJ or a 5-piece band, make sure they are willing to work with your theme. You don’t want a harpist at a Wild West wedding, or 80′s music at your Roaring 20′s celebration.

6. Choose a theme that will go over well with your guests, advises My Wedding Blog. Make sure that your theme is not in poor taste. You most definitely do not want to insult or disgust your guests.

7. If you want to go all out, get help! If you have a specific theme in mind, but you don’t know how to pull it off, hire a coordinator to handle it for you. As professionals, they know exactly how to make your themed wedding a success.

8. Take the theme home! Not everyone chooses to give out wedding favors, but if you do, they should definitely reflect your theme! Visit AmericanBridal for all your themed wedding favor needs!

Polka dot cake from maisie fantaisie.

1. Inappropriate wedding music choices. Wedaholic remembers cringing as a band played Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On.” A lovely song but, after all, this Oscar-winning Titanic theme tune is about a couple separated by death. I recall sitting next to the Rabbi’s decorous wife when the band broke out with “It’s getting hot it here, so take off all your clothes…”

2. Long-winded wedding speeches: You just can’t hold any one’s attention for more than five minutes. Don’t make the guests suffer any longer, no matter how wise or witty your speech may be. The shorter, the better!

3. Sand Ceremony: In this superfluous wedding custom, the bride and groom each have a container of sand that they pour into an empty vase.  It’s an alternative to the candle-lighting ceremony, both of which are meant to symbolize unity. As if the guests have forgotten what exactly marriage is all about anyway.

4. The chicken dance: “I hate that dorky Chicken Dance. It’s not a nice thing to put your guests through. I have never heard someone say that they … missed doing the Chicken Dance; but I have heard people speak with dread about the impending possibility of being subjected to this ‘tradition’…” (Laura, theKnot) The same goes for other such “interactive songs” like the Macarena and the Electric Slide. If you must include them, save them for after Grandma and Grandpa go home.

5. Receiving line: The line generally consists of every member of the wedding party (bride, groom, parents, grandparents, bridesmaids), and each guest is required to greet and congratulate each and every one of them. AskMen notes, “It goes without saying that this is an incredible waste of time for everyone involved; an informal approach and the directions to the bar would certainly suffice.”

6. Rumbling tummies: Large time gaps in between the ceremony and the food are bound to make your guests grumpy.  Always provide drinks, snacks and even consider entertainment, if there is going to be a long wait before the meal commences. Alternately, transportation should be provided by the bride and groom if the venues for the ceremony and reception are located far apart.

7. Baby ring bearers and flower girls: How many weddings have been held up by small children kicking and screaming and having to be whisked off out of hearing range?  We love ‘em, but kids are unpredictable, and even the most attention-loving child is apt to come down with performance anxiety. My own flower girl had to be carried down the isle by her daddy, who was gracious enough to strew the rose petals as well.

8. Throwing stuff: Rice and confetti are two of the most popular materials that are flung around with reckless abandon at weddings,” AskMen observes.  “Is this really a good idea? Do the newlyweds really need to be pelted with food and covered with silly string for the rest of the evening?”

9. More throwing- Garter and bouquet toss: What could possibly be more humiliating than being forced out to the center of a parquet dance floor and being expected to demonstrate your desperation by diving for flying flowers?” queries MentalFloss. “How about grasping in the air for a lacy piece of undergarment that until moments ago resided uncomfortably close to the crotch of your buddy’s wife?” These traditions are seriously out-dated (read about their shocking origin here!) and don’t add much to the celebration.

10. Cake smashing: I don’t think anyone really enjoys this gaffe.  Perhaps it was funny the first time a bride and groom smeared each other in icing, but as a “tradition” it leaves guests feeling uncomfortable. ”The whole cake-smashing-in-the-face event makes me wonder if the couple is just getting out their aggressions from all those pre-wedding quarrels.” (David, theKnot) And most newlyweds would rather keep their faces clean anyway.

Chicken dance photo compliments of Truly Wedding Blog.