You have many things on your mind while planning a wedding, but don’t forget to say thank you to the bridesmaids who have stood by your side through it all! A small (or large!) bridesmaid gift will let her know how much you appreciate all her loving help and support.

Choose something special that she will treasure throughout her life. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just something thoughtful that you think she’ll like. It’s best to buy the same gift for everyone, but you can personalize it by engraving their names on it, or choosing different colors for each gal. Make sure to order them in advance, so that you can present it on the wedding day itself!

Some Gift Ideas to Get You Started!

A handbag or clutch makes a perfect gift for the bridesmaid to carry her personal belonging during the wedding. Each bridesmaid can be given her favorite color bag with her initials on it. Click here for lots of bridesmaids bags, totes, and clutches!

Beach wedding? Destination wedding? Bridesmaids who love the great outdoors? Give them a gift that will be useful on many more happy outings. Personalized totes and picnic blankets are just the thing to keep them smiling!

Beautiful silver jewelry, such as cuffs, charm bracelets, pins, or necklaces.  Click here for sterling silver bridesmaids gifts!

A personalized compact mirror is stylish and useful, adding a touch of glamor to her daily beauty routine…and her makeup touch-ups throughout the day. Click here for compact mirror gifts!

Capture the moment with pretty photo frame with a picture of you and your bridesmaid in it. This will always remind her of your friendship and good times shared. Click here for bridesmaid photo frames and albums!

A spa or aromatherapy kit will help the bridesmaid to relax after all the hectic days and late nights you’ve spent together. If you can afford it, you could even give the bridesmaid a gift certificate to a spa.

For a girly gift, a nice perfume is a sweet option. Here is a gorgeous perfume bottles for her dressing table!  For something more sassy, how about a girls-night-out flask?

Get creative!! At American Bridal, you can buy unique gifts such as pink flasks for the girls who like to party, Sushi-for-two gift sets, tool belts for the fix-it type, rhinestone belts for the gal who likes bling, aprons, jewelry boxes, tank tops, mugs, hair clips, and so much more!

The bride can present the gifts at the wedding rehearsal, on the wedding day itself,  or plan a fabulous girls night out for all the bridesmaids (you can involve their spouses/partners too, if you like).

Remember, it’s not the gifts that matter most to your bridesmaids, but the appreciation you are showing them. Give them a card with a heartfelt letter to let them know how special they are!

You can also embellish the table runners/place mats by gluing ribbons or other trimming along the sides of the wrapping paper. Scrap-booking papers, while smaller, also provide lots of colorful decorating options, such as place-mats, table numbers, and gift wrap!

photo: Country Living

Here are some photos of how it’s done!

Preston Bailey’s Blog via Divas and Weddings

Martha Stewart Weddings

Real Simple

Home Stories A to Z

Katek via The Savvy Event

Lollipop Event & Design via Details Events

Martha Stewart Weddings

Style Me Pretty

More Wrapping Paper and Scrapbooking Paper ideas!

coasters/votive mats: The Cooke Family

backdrops: Pepper via Parties and Pretties

Place mats and Table Numbers: Martha Stewart Weddings

candle wrappers: Grace Designs

Tradition is a wonderful thing, but there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun at the same time! Here are some great ideas for keeping wedding customs fresh!

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All photos from Martha Stewart Wedding

Twist on Something Old: Here’s a great idea! An heirloom brooch takes on a new life when you attach it to a wide piece of ribbon and wearing it as a cuff!  (Brooch, General Whimsy)

Twist on Something New: Not everything needs to be tangible. Mark your special day with a fragrance you’ve never worn before. Do try it out though before the wedding to be sure you like it! (pictured: Hermes Poivre Samarcande)

Twist on Something Borrowed: For wedding-day memorabilia, brides traditionally look to their mothers and grandmothers. This time, let Dad or Grandpa have his moment by wrapping a bow tie around the base of your bouquet.

Twist on Something Blue: These shoes have all the classic bridal markings — white satin, decorative bow, peep toe — but the sole is a vivid aqua. (Pour La Victoire “Stella” shoes from Zappos.com)

A Twist on Centerpieces: Rather than an explosion of flowers, consider a sculptural arrangement of veneer figure eights. On this table they are interspersed with stemless wineglasses and tall taper candles.  (Design Your Wall white contact paper. Northern Sheer Veneer birch veneer. Riedel wineglasses.)

Twist on Wedding Favors: Rather than doling out chocolates and picture frames, some couples designate that portion of the budget to charity, and make a donation on behalf of their guests. Many nonprofits have programs in place to accept this kind of contribution, which gets you a tax write-off as well as a good deed. Then, you get printed cards to distribute to guests stating that a gift has been made. Another idea for an environmentally-friendly wedding is to give guests sappling from the Arbor Day Foundation to take home and plant.

Twist on a Guest Book: Rather than an album of well-wishes, how about turning on your computer to watch your guests in action! Reserve a corner of your wedding venue for a video photo booth: Set up a digital camcorder, leave a movie clapper and dry-erase pens for guests to write their names and messages, and let them talk a blue streak. For a seamless background, hang a large white piece of fabric or paper.

Twists on a Wedding Cake: In place of a towering frosted confection, you can serve just about anything that pleases you… cupcakes, candy bars, or something like this irresistible all-white dessert buffet. Lemon-cream sandwich cookies, Ricotta-filled pizzelles, Toasted-marshmallow milkshakes, coconut macaroons, Pavlovas with cream and white currants, Angel food roulade with salted caramel cream, Mini panna cotta tarts, Crossings calissons (800-209-6141), Mini rum Bundt cakes, Arnold’s Candies pillow mints (groovycandies.com) in Plastic Container City

A Twist on Throwing Rice: This ritual has roots in ancient Egypt, and symbolizes a life of prosperity. But who needs the mess? Guests can wave birch-veneer banners which they have personalized with all their good wishes and blessings.

Twist on the Decorated Getaway Car: Turn the tables on your guests!  Have valets decorate their cars during the reception. For example, you might surprise them with a memento tied to the rearview mirror, such as a card thanking them for coming, or a sachet of potpourri.

Check out Martha Stewart Weddings for more great ideas!

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1. Personalized MP3 Cooler Bag

For the man who likes to celebrate outdoors, this brilliant bag is, quite simply, a portable party! Snacks and music go, great if you’re planning a beach or destination wedding, pool party rehearsal dinner or picnic engagement party!

Removable speaker panel, a battery-powered amplifier, a Velcro pocket for a standard-size mp3 player, a detachable jack, an adjustable shoulder strap, a top carry handle, a front zippered pocket, and an inner insulated cooler compartment, PLUS free embroidered initials, all for $49.95. Get it now!

2. Personalized Barbecue Cooler Kit

This is the perfect gift for any guy who is master of the grill. It’s fabulous for tailgating, camping, or heavy-duty picnicking.

This roomy cooler bag features: a front zippered pocket with a stainless steel grill brush, a spatula, and tongs; back zippered pocket holds a large tablecloth. Add on free personalization of your groomsmen’s initials or monograms, all for $62.95. Get it now!

3. Personalized Groomsmen Dresser Kit

Practical yet sentimental! This thoughtful men’s gift is a handsome valet tray where you can tuck in a photo to remind him of the good times you’ve shared! Personalized with his initials, this dresser set becomes a keepsake he’ll treasure as the years go by.

Black leatherette, with white topstitching and black velvet lining, four compartments, and photo box lid keep accessories and favorite memories safe. Free silver-plate personalization! Only $43.20. Get it now!

4. Personalized Groomsmen Cufflinks

Whether your groomsmen wears wingtip or laydown tuxedo shirts, these initialed classic brush silver square cufflinks will please your guy… and the ladies. Only $26.95. Get them now!

5. Personalized Mini Foosball Game Set

Now it’s foosball time all the time! You can play a little game wherever you go (just not during the ceremony!)…  Get your groomsmen hooked!

Miniature, portable, travel size Personalized Mini Foosball Game Set is made of silvertone metal and brass colored metal a features a replica of a real foosball game table complete with 2 sets of team players and 2 silvertone metallic balls. Free personalization up to 20 characters. Only $22.95! Get yours now!

6. Personalized NFL Wall Clock

Add a dose of team pride to your groomsmen’s game rooms with these impressive Personalized NFL Wall Clocks! Proudly made in the USA, these colorful NFL wall clocks feature genuine quartz movement. Available in 32 teams, these clocks may be personalized with up to 2 lines of 12 characters each. Only $28.95! Get it here!

7. Sean Travel Set

A handy-dandy gift for the man on the move. Especially apropos if you’re having a destination wedding. The handsome aluminum carrying case contains a razor, spare razon blades, small and large nail clipper, shaver, file, cuticle cutter, cuticle cleaner, and tweezer. Only $38.95! Get it now!

8. Engravable Silver Pocket Tool

This silver pocket all-in-one-tool gets back to the basics with stuff they’ll need for the great outdoors and regular, everyday pursuits. It includes needle-nose pliers, wire cutters, large/medium/small flat screwdrivers, clip-point knife, phillips screwdriver, bottle/can opener, fish scale, and saw. Pocketknife can be engraved with up to 12 characters, plus a nylon carrying case. Only $15.95. Get it now!

9. Engravable Curved Business Card Case

This attractive business card case thanks the professionals in your wedding party with distinctive style. No more lost or crumpled business cards! Sturdy chrome with a brown leather overlay, contrast stitching, and free engraving. Only $21.95. Get it now!

10. The Thinker Desk Pen Holder

This exquisite reproduction of Rodin’s famous sculpture, “The Thinker” is attached to a heavyweight base with a pen rest. Doubles as a paperweight. Sure to be the centerpiece of any office, this attractive statuette complements modern and traditional décor for a stunning effect. Only $35.95. Get it now!

Here’s another good idea, while you’re at it: The guys at GroomGroove.com suggest setting up a wedding registry on an otherwise uneventful weeknight. Turn off the TV, and make creating a charitable wedding registry a cool date. Says Golden: “It’s an opportunity to learn about the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. One recent groom chose Teach for America as his charitable organization, whereas his bride chose a charity that benefits artists.” You may be surprised to find out what charitable causes interest your fiancée.

I Do Foundation

Use this simple, free system to enable your guests to make secure online donations in support of the organization of your choice.  as their wedding gift to you.  You select the nonprofit organizations of your choice from their list of Recommended Partners, which includes Children, Youth, and Family, Community Development, Education, Environment, Health, and Social Justice.

Changing the Present

At Changing the Present, you can choose from over 1,500 donation gift opportunities, each at different princes, from adopting a tiger ($40) to sponsoring a year of schooling for one girl ($250) to clearing landmines ($50).

In addition to a charitable registry, you can order charitable wedding favors, which are small cards placed on your guests’ tables, saying that a donation was made in their honor. These favors include things like sandwiches at a drop-in center, materials for a struggling artist, assistance for deaf families, and more.

Wedding Channel

With a Wedding Channel registry, you can have your cake and eat it too. They will make a donation to your charity of choice every time someone uses WeddingChannel.com to purchase you a gift from one of your registries (in partnership with the I Do Foundation).

Charity Choice

Use their online wizard to create your own personalized webpage, customize with your favorite charities, buy bridal shower and party favors as a special honor for your guests, or give an elegant customized certificate as a charitable presentation to your wedding party.

Heifer Gift Registry

Help end hunger and poverty with gifts of livestock and training. With a Heifer Gift Registry, your gift will help families around the world become self-reliant and be able to provide for themselves, their families and their community.  You can choose from goats, water buffalo, chickens, llamas, camels, and much more. In exchange for their livestock and training, families agree to give one of its animal’s offspring to another family in need, so that this becomes the gift that keeps on giving.

Don’t Go Crazy

You only need to register at two or three stores you love. Choose a national department store or chain that has lots of household basics; add a local specialty store if you want to. For your guests’ sake, you may want to choose stores that are low-, medium-, and high-end, so that there are gifts in a variety of price ranges to choose from.

Do Register Ahead of Time

Try to complete your registry a few months before the wedding. This will give guests time to purchase gifts for the big day, but also for your engagement and a shower.

Don’t Put it in Your Invitation

Once you have registered, give the information to immediate family and the wedding party, and let them spread the word. If you are asked where you have registered, it is fine for you to tell, but it is not proper to include registry information in a wedding invitation. Registry information can be included on a wedding website, as long as the actual name of the store is not included on the same layer; organize your website so that guests must click down one level to find the details.

Do Register for Enough Gifts

Register for more gifts than you have guests, so there will be plenty of items to choose from. As mentioned above, register for gifts in a wide range of prices, or choose individual items rather than sets, as with pots and pans, for instance. It is fine to put a few expensive items on your registry, but balance them with equally lovely options that are more affordable.

Don’t Ask for Money

While it’s still considered tacky to ask for money directly, financial registries try to make this less awkward; for example, couples can now register online for stocks, honeymoon expenses, and even toward a down payment on a house.

Do write Thank You Notes Right Away

If your registry doesn’t automatically notify you when a gift has been purchased, review your registry every few weeks, and more frequently as the wedding approaches. Use your updated registry to help you keep up with writing thank-you notes.

Don’t Limit Yourself

Registry expert Mary Rose Gearon offers the following advice: “Don’t think just about your lifestyle as it is today. You’ll be entertaining more in the years to come, so create a wish list of items: a platter for your first Thanksgiving dinner or champagne glasses for a New Year’s toast. Keep those special occasions in mind; it’s a wonderful way to include loved ones in those important milestones.”

Don’t Forget to Register for the Basics

Funky bedspreads and whimsical wall hangings are well and good, but don’t forget the more useful – though duller – basics, such as measuring cups, can openers, garlic press, spatulas, kitchen timer, mixing bowls, knives, cookware, storage containers, etc.

Karen Sherman, Ph.D., (www.drkarensherman.com),a practicing psychologist in relationships and lifestyle issues, says “NO WAY!” According to Dr. Sherman, it’s the little things, particularly well-loved rituals, that let your spouse know you care. It’s all about the security of being a pair, and acceptance and understanding that comes with a deep connection.

This desire for feeling connected all starts right from the beginning when you are born and in your childhood—there’s a need for attachment to a caring figure. When couples come in for help, the biggest problem I see is a sense of disconnection and feeling that he or she does not matter to his or her partner. The question then becomes how do you let your mate know that he or she really is important to you?

Do you remember the movie, Fiddler on the Roof? At one point in the script, the couple reflects on all the things that they do for each other, but then ask, “Do you love me?” For me, this raises the issue that perhaps going out and working all day to support the family or staying home and taking care of the house and kids—as monumental as those tasks are—are just not enough to let the other person know how you feel about them.

There are a lot of things you can do to let each other know how important you are to one another. They are rituals. They say a lot about your bond, even thought they are only small behaviors.

Dr. Sherman points out that for most people, acknowlaging birthdays and anniversaries is important. It lets your spouse know that he or she is not forgotten. You can turn this opportunity into a yearly ritual that will come to be cherished over time. “You don’t even need Hallmark to do the job; my father-in-law always wrote a poem for my mother-in-law on the morning of their anniversary and left it on the kitchen table before he left for work. He wrote it on a napkin! She never complained that she felt ignored.”

Daily rituals are equally important, and Dr. Sherman shares one that her husband does to start off each day. “When he hears me get up, he comes to greet me with a hug and kiss. I can’t even tell you what it means to me to feel so welcomed each day.”

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Do something to greet or say good-bye to one another—even if the absence is for short periods.
2. Have a ritual to acknowledge each other at the beginning and ending of each day.
3. During the day, make a phone call, send an e-mail or send a text message in order to connect with each other.
4. Rather than just spending time together to resolve an issue, make sure there’s also some time put aside just for enjoyment.
5. If one of you has to go on a trip, leave a surprise note inside the luggage.
6. If your partner has accomplished something special (even if it’s around the house), let others know within earshot of your partner.
7. If your mate is having a problem, try being supportive rather than trying to fix the issue.
8. Show appreciation to your spouse for things he or she has done—even if it’s mundane.
9. Bring novelty into your relationship. When you try new things together, it helps to keep the relationship fresh. And when you share this adventure together, it’s also connecting.
10. Turn on the affection. Touch is very important for a sense of connection.

Remember, this is only a starter list. Keep it going! And remember, the more personal your rituals the more meaningful they will be. The need for connection is something you both need and when it’s there, it is very magical!

Karen Sherman, Ph.D., (www.drkarensherman.com) is a practicing psychologist in relationships and lifestyle issues for over 20 years. She offers teleseminars and is the author of “Mindfulness and the Art of Choice: Transform Your Life” and co-author of “Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make it Last.”

Source: Hitched: Entertains, educates, and inspires marriages

Special gifts to say “I love you” for her… and for him!

That’s precisely what they are, gifts. Marriage is an important milestone, but your particular life choices don’t mean that anybody owes you anything beyond a warm “Congratulations.” And please spare everyone the lecture on how much a head your reception is costing. You’re the one who had to have the arugula and glazed duck; we’d have been perfectly happy with mac & cheese.

She also included a link to the “single most horrifying list of wedding etiquette in history.”

The list, plus many of the comments, got me thinking about weddings and gifts. Is there really a proper gift-giving etiquette? From the bride and groom’s perspective, do the guests owe you a gift? Do you think having them at your wedding is pleasure enough? And from a guest’s perspective, are you required to “pay” for your dinner? Is buying an off-registry gift really such a terrible offense against the bride and groom? Must you spend a certain amount of money on a gift?

Monica’s list, 88 Things You Need to Know Before Attending a Wedding states the following rules under “Gifts”:

1. If you receive an invitation you must send a gift! Even if you don’t attend.
2. If you can’t attend the wedding, you should send your gift before the wedding with a card expressing your regrets about not being able to attend.
3. The gift should be worth at least the # of people you’ve RSVP’ed x the cost of one person’s plate for the reception.
4. The exception to this is when a couple chooses *really expensive* plates.
5. *Really expensive* depends on your geographical area, not your preferences. Nice try though.
6. If you don’t know what a wedding plate costs, call the reception hall and investigate. This will at least get you in the ballpark.
7. The gift should be monetary or come from the bride and groom’s registry.
8. The wedding registry will not be listed in the invitation unless the couple is very tacky. You are supposed to call the maid-of-honor (MOH)/mother of the bride (MOB) to find out where the couple is registered.
9. Anyone in the family or wedding party is appropriate if the MOH/MOB cannot be reached.
10. Don’t get the couple something they didn’t ask for! It’s not clever and/or original, it’s annoying.
11. Money should come in a wedding card.
12. Gift cards are like throwing money away, so don’t give them.
13. If you insist on giving a gift card it should come only from a store where the couple is registered.
14. Don’t get the couple something they didn’t ask for! It’s not clever and/or original, it’s annoying.
15. Gifts should be removed from the registry to avoid the headaches of double gifts. Ask for help from a store assistant if you are confused.
16. Gifts should come wrapped in wedding paper with a wedding card.
17. Don’t get the couple something they didn’t ask for! It’s not clever and/or original, it’s annoying.
18. It’s nice to give the couple more than what covers your dinner plates, if you can and want to.

This list is making quite a strong statement about the “proper” way to do things. As such, it garnered over 50 responses, ranging from total agreement to shock and offense.  Some comments, from both sides of the fence:

Jennifer I have never heard of wedding gifts equaling the cost of your plate at the reception. There is really no way for a guest to know what the couple is spending on thier wedding nor should they try to find out… In addition, you do not invite people in order to get a gift, their presence is all that is required.

Bethany I think three times is necessary for the original gift comment. Many of our guests stuck to the registry, some deviated in a pretty acceptable manner, but we received an atrocious candle holder. It was not cute, it was not useful, and their gift was promptly donated. It’s backfired thoughtfulness… If you want to take the time to be a thoughtful guest, these tips are a good place to start.

Ashly I think some of the comments also rely on variables…  I actually showed this list to two of the brides whose weddings I’m attending this year, and they both were a bit appalled at the tone of the article, in addition to some of the comments. For them, while presents are nice, they aren’t going to begrudge a financially straddled friend who can’t afford a gift; because they believe their weddings are about celebrating the union with the people in their life they love, not expecting gifts over an X value…

Mardi Gifts are part of getting married, and there is an etiquette to them, just like everything else surrounding a wedding… Kudos to you for putting together a comprehensive set of rules and guidelines for guests! Thoroughly enjoyed it. I wish I could share this with some of my guests who chose to ignore the “rules.” (There are people who CAME to the wedding who never sent a gift – not to mention those who DIDN’T come to the wedding and didn’t send a gift.)

Harper I am getting married in 12 days. I found the gift giving section offensive as well, although I see that it wasn’t intended to be… having friends and family celebrate their union is what matters. In place of a gift a card of congratulations would be a nice alternative, and only a few bucks. It is also a nice way for the couple to look back on their day and remember everyone who was there if they forgot to sign the guest book… In weddings that I was involved in, my gift was doing everything from making favors to stuffing envelopes along with watching the couples dogs while they vacationed. Be creative people, it doesn’t have to be a material gift!!

Nikki I did NOT find the tone of this article to be inappropriate. It is well written and everything on there is accurate. I think people are a little confused. This is ettiquette for the guests not the bride and groom. The bride and groom should never expect gifts. That is not what the day is about. But a guest should never attend without a gift unless financial situations warrant this (in that case, I’m sure the bride and groom are aware anyways). As for the price of the gift, I have ALWAYS been taught that it should be at least the cost of your plate. Maybe this is one of those things that changes from region to region.

Jay My fiancee and I found your gift-giving section so offensive that it has inspired us to insert explicit directions within our invitation that we do not expect or want gifts; the gift is the person’s presence at the wedding. We are inviting 150 people, and feel this is the right thing to do. We already have plenty, and getting gifts would just be greedy.

Personally, I think that to expect a gift from each person equalling or surpassing the price a meal is silly and a bit immature.  At my own wedding 4 years ago, I was thrilled to have the chance to celebrate the occasion with all my friends and family. I had no expectations regarding gifts. The fact that I DID receive gifts was fantastic and I was grateful for each one, regardless of whether or not it was on my registry, or whether it was something I really wanted or needed. (You can always regift something, or give it away to a charity or to someone else who will appreciate it.) And I certainly wasn’t calculating how much the gift cost, or taking offence if it wasn’t on my registry (or not wrapped properly, etc)! In my opinion, every gift is a bonus. I invited people to my wedding because I really wanted them to be there!

Having said that, as a guest, it is proper to find out what’s expected of you, and in general giving a gift is the proper thing to do. It seems that in some circles, there is a very strong gift-giving ettiquete, as stated in 88 Things You Need to Know Before Attending a Wedding. A guest should do their best to be senstive and not offend the bride and groom.

I am curious to know what YOU think about wedding gift etiquette!

photo from janeandphilipswedding

Men, in my opinion, are always harder to shop for than girls. So I was excited to find a website dedicated solely to men’s gifts- MyGroomsmenGifts. They have a wonderful selection of gifts for your groomsmen, the best man, attendants, ushers and dads! (Groom, too!)

It’s customary to give gifts to thank the members of your wedding party for being a part of your special day. Whether your groomsmen are young and hip, or conservative, seasoned renaissance men, MyGroomsmenGifts has a great selection! There are sporty gifts, elegant gifts, useful gifts, luxurious gifts… all those manly things you’ll find on any guy’s secret wish list.

If you’re watching your budget, you can even “Shop by Price.”

Make your gift more unique and personal by having it engraved or embroidered with your groomsmen’s name or initials. Personalized gifts include travel bags, baseball bats, hip flasks, cufflinks, shaving kits and portable cooler bag chairs, all of which can be engraved or embroidered with your groomsmen’s name or initials.

Is your guy a sports fan? There are lots of sporty gifts including themed cuff links, personalized beer mugs, team watches, and more!

Is he more of the executive type? Give him something elegant and useful, like The Thinker pen holder, marble book ends, or personalized desk clock!

Does your groomsman like to party? There’s quite an array of flask and barware for even the most enthusiastic social drinker!

Those are just a few ideas! There are hundreds of gifts to choose from, and you are sure to find something awesome, even for the guy who has everything!  Note: MyGroomsmenGifts is also the perfect destination for other special occasions–birthdays, Father’s Day, Bosses’ Day, anniversaries, retirements and graduations.