Know the market

Find out what other vendors offer for the same price point, and use this as leverage. Ask about every single thing that’s included in your package. Then find out in advance what extras are going to cost — and whether those costs can be waived.

Stick to your limit

A vendor may be willing to cut you a deal as long as you agree to something additional — for example, he might consent to give you an extra hour of shooting, but only if you have him take your engagement photos. What you need to ask yourself is whether this will actually cost you more in the end.

Adopt a friendly but firm demeanor

There’s no harm in for a deal… if you do it politely!  If vendors feel positive about working with you, they may be more willing to come up with creative solutions.

Be indifferent

You need the vendor to believe that if he or she won’t meet your offer you will walk away. Consider collaborating with your fiance to employ the old good-cop-bad-cop routine.

Practice makes perfect

Try your hand negotiating at a flea market to see what talking style works for you.

Visit The Knot for more wedding planning ideas.

feature image credit

How to choose a venue:

1.  Do you plan to marry in a church or synagogue, and then move somewhere else for the reception?  Or do you prefer the convenience of having the wedding ceremony and reception all under one roof?  Factors such as ease of transport from service to reception will be important when planning your church wedding.

2. Make a list of all possibilities, and then call them to check the availability on the day you and your beloved have decided to wed. This will narrow down your search, as venues tend to book up quickly and some may not even be available on your desired date.  It’s a good idea to reserve your venue from six months to a year before your actual wedding. If you have your heart set on a particular venue, you may have to be flexible about the date.

3. Put together a tentative guest list of family and friends you think will be at the wedding.  Then, look only for venues that can accommodate that number of guest. If you plan on inviting the whole town, you’ll need a large hall that fits all those hundreds of people. If you plan on having a smaller affair, you can choose something more cozy.  Find out when the venue of choice needs to have a head count.

4. Discuss your wedding budget with your spouse-to-be, and decide how much money you can devote to the wedding venue. Some venues charges a flat fee, while others charge per hour. Some provide special packages that you may be able to work into your budget. You should als0 find out whether they offer discounts on certain days, like a Thursday or Sunday. Once you decide on a venue, make sure to find out when deposits and payments are due.

5. Ask the wedding venue director what items are included in the price. Some venues offer tables, linens, chairs, and even decorations, while other venues offer only the space that you will need to fill. Be sure to find out if a set-up or clean-up fee is included in the price, and how much time before and after the wedding will be needed to do so.

6. Find out whether the venue offers only in-house catering or if they allow outside caterers.  If you and your fiance have dietary needs, or have your hearts set on a particular menu, this will play a part in your decision.  If the catering is in-house, inquire whether it is also included in the price.

7. Do you want to be married outdoors? Look for a place that will host an outdoors wedding ceremony and/or reception, but make sure they have a provisional space in case of bad weather, too. Also, find out if the venue offers changing rooms for the bridal party and groomsmen.

8. If you and your spouse-to-be plan on serving alcohol, discuss any rules or restrictions they may have. Some venues allow you to bring in your own liquor, while others make you use their own in-house bar and bartender.

9. Bands and other forms entertainment can take up a large amount of space, as can a dance floor, so decide when and where you want the entertainment to take place, and check that there will be enough space available.

10. Parking may be a consideration for your guests. Some venues offer valet parking (which you can choose to cover) while others offer adequate-sized parking lots for all of your guests.

Types of Venues:

Your perfect wedding can take place just about anywhere you want it to, but here are some of the most popular choices, brought to you by WeddingPath.

Historic wedding reception venue. Castles, country houses and stately homes are among the locations many dream of for their big day. If your budget can stretch to it, this offers a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to enjoy the use of a stunning building.

Hotel wedding reception. There are so many different types of hotel that there’s likely to be something for everyone, from traditional to ultra-modern. Having accommodation on the spot is, of course, a big plus.

Marquee wedding reception. If you have access to spacious gardens or other outdoor space, a marquee, or tent, could be worth considering. Many people are surprised at how pricey it can be to hire a marquee for their wedding, but the plus side is that you can take control of wedding catering and could save a considerable amount by providing your own alcohol.

Sports or social club wedding reception. Different types of club premises can be perfect for a wedding reception. Do plenty of research and you could find one that’s in a stunning location, too. For example, some sailing or rowing clubs have picturesque waterside views, and can often be hired at a reasonable price, certainly compared to other popular wedding venues.
Restaurant or pub wedding reception. Food and drink are among the main ingredients for a successful wedding reception, so where better to head than to a lovely restaurant or pub? Bear in mind that you’re more likely to find a good match if your wedding party is smaller, and if you’re lucky you might even be able to escape the heavy costs that are often quoted as soon as you mention the ‘w’ word!

Things to watch out for!

Wedding prices. Don’t fall for over-inflated prices. Whether it’s sky-high drinks or hidden costs in the small print, you don’t want to feel exploited, so vote with your feet if you feel it’s not worth it.

Wedding venue staff. Do they seem experienced and professional? Are they flexible and willing to adapt to your needs? This will be a major factor in how smoothly your day runs.

Wedding venue facilities. Is the venue accessible for guests with a disability? Is there appropriate seating for the elderly and/or young children?

Wedding guest accommodation. Is there a reasonable range of accommodation (hotels, guest houses, etc) within easy access of the venue?

Wedding transport. Is there enough parking for guests who drive, and decent transport links for those who don’t?

Wedding venue restrictions. Does the venue impose limitations that could put a damper on your celebration? Some stipulate no loud music after a certain time, others don’t like confetti or candles, and certain (usually historical) venues forbid high-heeled shoes for fear of their flooring being damaged.

Wedding photography. Plenty of natural light in your venue will mean better pictures. You might also want to check that there are plenty of appealing outdoor spots close at hand.

Wedding decoration. Are table linen, flowers, place cards and other decorations included in the quoted price, or will you have to provide your own?

Wedding extras. Check the availability of extras such as a cake stand and cake knife. Many wedding venues will lend you these, but having to hire them separately adds to your hassle and your wedding expenses.

Photo from countymarquees.com

Resurfacing Lite

Best for… Those with lackluster, sun-damaged skin marred by brown spots and/or tiny broken blood vessels, and anyone troubled by the redness of rosacea. Improvements in skin tone and texture typically last for years.  Ronald Moy, MD, a professor of dermatology at UCLA, says: “Skin tone is so even that you can go without makeup.”

Cost $250 to $550 per treatment; repeated treatments over several weeks yield the best results. (Most doctors give a discount for multiple sessions.)

What’s Involved A numbing cream is spread over your face a half-hour before the cosmetic procedure begins.

Wearing goggles to protect your eyes, the doctor glides the laser or light-treatment tool over your skin, emitting a broad spectrum of light that targets brown spots and reddish areas; the laser seeks out only brown pigment. The laser’s heat also spurs new collagen production and so, over time, plumps up fine lines. (IPL treatment has only a minimal effect on fine lines.)

Total time under the light or laser is about 40 minutes. You’ll leave with a good-to-go glow. Hairline broken blood vessels and red patches are history within a few days; brown spots turn darker and then begin to flake off in about a week.

Downside Because brown spots darken before they disappear, you need to schedule your cosmetic procedure well in advance of  your wedding day!

Low-Cost Alternatives Over-the-counter bleaching creams containing hydroquinone, and prescription creams with higher concentrations of the skin-lightening ingredient, will fade patches of discoloration to a degree but aren’t useful for red blood vessels. Also, when you stop using the creams, the darker patches may return. An opaque camouflage cream offers instant improvement but wears off over the day and comes off on your clothes.

Click here for more info on this procedure!

Lip Plumping

Best for… Lips that have lost their fullness and crisp, clean edges, particularly in women over age 40. This isn’t about ultra-pouty Hollywood lips, but rather a “subtle enhancement.” He says, “Just a little bit of extra volume can have a rejuvenating effect.”

Cost $500 to $1,000 per treatment. Maintenance booster shots are generally needed every 6 months.

What’s Involved The lips and surrounding skin are numbed with lidocaine injections. A hyaluronic acid gel–such as Restylane, Hylaform, or Captique–is injected along the border of the lips. The substance itself is durable, but it also attracts water molecules, giving the filler additional staying power. Filler material injected along the outer edge of the upper lip will prevent lipstick from bleeding upward into lip lines. For the lower lip, two injections are typically needed, Moy says. The doctor then gently massages the lips, sculpting the gel to achieve the desired shape and volume.

Downside About one in five people experiences swelling of the lips that may last a few days. Holding an ice pack to the lips for 20 minutes after the injections helps minimize bruising and swelling.

Low-Cost Alternative Over-the-counter topical lip plumpers that rely on mild irritants, such as cinnamon, ginger, and menthol, will slightly swell the lips for a few hours.

Click here for more info on this procedure!

Chemical Peel

Best for… Those with sallow skin tones, tired tans, overactive oil glands, or acne breakouts.

Cost A solo superficial peel for $75 to $200 sweeps away old skin cells, leaving a babylike smoothness and glow that last for several weeks; a series of five peels, 3 to 4 weeks apart, repeated twice a year, equalizes slight variations in skin tone and polishes the skin’s surface, minimizing fine lines (though not usually as much as IPL or laser treatments).

What’s Involved The lowest-tech and perhaps oldest of the pricier treatments, light peels have long given models’ and celebs’ complexions that enviable fresh glow. After thoroughly cleansing your skin and covering your eyes with gauze pads or goggles to protect them from splashes and drips, a nurse or medical esthetician (under a doctor’s supervision) paints your face with a mild acid solution using an oversize swab or gauze pad. A number of acids are used, and dermatologists have their favorites based on their personal preferences and experience. These include alpha hydroxy acid, lactic acid, resorcinol, or trichloroacetic acid. You’ll feel a mild stinging immediately after the acid is applied. Some acids “turn off” on their own; others need to be deactivated with a neutralizer spray. Some doctors follow this with a 20-minute ice pack or lightly apply a moisturizer.

Downside Depending on sensitivity, skin may redden within an hour, and the blush will remain for a few days. Applying a nonprescription cortisone cream several times a day will usually calm it down. Within 48 hours, skin will begin to flake slightly for a day or so as old skin cells are shed.

Who Shouldn’t Do It Anyone who expects to get rid of deep wrinkles or scars and improve skin’s elasticity. (Superficial peels mainly improve your skin’s texture.) Even a series of light peels won’t remedy serious flaws. Women with sensitive skin should have a skin test first.

Low-Cost Alternative The closest route to a similar result is microdermabrasion, which mechanically lifts off a thin layer of old skin cells. But to achieve the same dewy, smooth look, at-home or salon microdermabrasion treatments must be done more frequently–every 2 to 3 weeks for a month or two and refresher treatments four times a year.

Click here for more info on this procedure.

Laser Hair Removal

Best for… People with dark hair and fair skin. This contrast makes it easy for the laser to target the pigment. Until recently, laser hair removal was thought to be risky for women with dark skin because it caused alterations in skin pigment. Today, a new generation of gentler, longer-wavelength lasers makes it safe for all skin colors.

Cost A single laser session ranges from $200 to $1,000, depending on the size of the area treated, and multiple sessions are usually needed. How many depends on hair density–as many as 1,000 hairs may be rooted in each section. To fully remove noticeable hair from the smallest area (above the upper lip) to the largest (both legs) costs between $400 and $4,000 (with discounts given for multiple treatments).

What’s Involved After shaving the hair and applying a topical numbing cream, a heat-conducting gel is put on the skin, and a laser beam is guided over the area. Each energy pulse of the laser is absorbed by the pigment in the hairs beneath the skin’s surface, all the way down to the follicle. The absorbed light is converted to heat, which destroys the hair shaft and surrounding follicle. Each pulse feels like a snap on the skin or a pinprick. The face typically takes about 15 minutes; the bikini area requires 20 minutes; and the lower leg and thigh require about an hour each during this cosmetic procedure.

Downside Skin blistering, third-degree burns, and scarring are rare but can occur if laser hair removal isn’t done properly by an experienced professional.

Who Shouldn’t Do It Those whose unwanted hair is predominantly blonde or gray. Because light or colorless hair has little or no pigment, the laser isn’t effective. (In these cases, Battle recommends electrolysis, in which a heated needle destroys one hair follicle at a time.) If you’re tan, steer clear of hair-removal lasers until your natural bronze has faded. The pigment in tanned skin can burn and blister. If you have an ankle tattoo or moles, forget about having your legs lasered.

Low-Cost Alternative Waxing removes hair instantly but leaves the root undisturbed, so every few weeks you have to wax or shave the growing stubble. Also, waxing, which some find quite painful, can cause rashes, burns, and ingrown hairs.

Image from stylehive.com

That’s precisely what they are, gifts. Marriage is an important milestone, but your particular life choices don’t mean that anybody owes you anything beyond a warm “Congratulations.” And please spare everyone the lecture on how much a head your reception is costing. You’re the one who had to have the arugula and glazed duck; we’d have been perfectly happy with mac & cheese.

She also included a link to the “single most horrifying list of wedding etiquette in history.”

The list, plus many of the comments, got me thinking about weddings and gifts. Is there really a proper gift-giving etiquette? From the bride and groom’s perspective, do the guests owe you a gift? Do you think having them at your wedding is pleasure enough? And from a guest’s perspective, are you required to “pay” for your dinner? Is buying an off-registry gift really such a terrible offense against the bride and groom? Must you spend a certain amount of money on a gift?

Monica’s list, 88 Things You Need to Know Before Attending a Wedding states the following rules under “Gifts”:

1. If you receive an invitation you must send a gift! Even if you don’t attend.
2. If you can’t attend the wedding, you should send your gift before the wedding with a card expressing your regrets about not being able to attend.
3. The gift should be worth at least the # of people you’ve RSVP’ed x the cost of one person’s plate for the reception.
4. The exception to this is when a couple chooses *really expensive* plates.
5. *Really expensive* depends on your geographical area, not your preferences. Nice try though.
6. If you don’t know what a wedding plate costs, call the reception hall and investigate. This will at least get you in the ballpark.
7. The gift should be monetary or come from the bride and groom’s registry.
8. The wedding registry will not be listed in the invitation unless the couple is very tacky. You are supposed to call the maid-of-honor (MOH)/mother of the bride (MOB) to find out where the couple is registered.
9. Anyone in the family or wedding party is appropriate if the MOH/MOB cannot be reached.
10. Don’t get the couple something they didn’t ask for! It’s not clever and/or original, it’s annoying.
11. Money should come in a wedding card.
12. Gift cards are like throwing money away, so don’t give them.
13. If you insist on giving a gift card it should come only from a store where the couple is registered.
14. Don’t get the couple something they didn’t ask for! It’s not clever and/or original, it’s annoying.
15. Gifts should be removed from the registry to avoid the headaches of double gifts. Ask for help from a store assistant if you are confused.
16. Gifts should come wrapped in wedding paper with a wedding card.
17. Don’t get the couple something they didn’t ask for! It’s not clever and/or original, it’s annoying.
18. It’s nice to give the couple more than what covers your dinner plates, if you can and want to.

This list is making quite a strong statement about the “proper” way to do things. As such, it garnered over 50 responses, ranging from total agreement to shock and offense.  Some comments, from both sides of the fence:

Jennifer I have never heard of wedding gifts equaling the cost of your plate at the reception. There is really no way for a guest to know what the couple is spending on thier wedding nor should they try to find out… In addition, you do not invite people in order to get a gift, their presence is all that is required.

Bethany I think three times is necessary for the original gift comment. Many of our guests stuck to the registry, some deviated in a pretty acceptable manner, but we received an atrocious candle holder. It was not cute, it was not useful, and their gift was promptly donated. It’s backfired thoughtfulness… If you want to take the time to be a thoughtful guest, these tips are a good place to start.

Ashly I think some of the comments also rely on variables…  I actually showed this list to two of the brides whose weddings I’m attending this year, and they both were a bit appalled at the tone of the article, in addition to some of the comments. For them, while presents are nice, they aren’t going to begrudge a financially straddled friend who can’t afford a gift; because they believe their weddings are about celebrating the union with the people in their life they love, not expecting gifts over an X value…

Mardi Gifts are part of getting married, and there is an etiquette to them, just like everything else surrounding a wedding… Kudos to you for putting together a comprehensive set of rules and guidelines for guests! Thoroughly enjoyed it. I wish I could share this with some of my guests who chose to ignore the “rules.” (There are people who CAME to the wedding who never sent a gift – not to mention those who DIDN’T come to the wedding and didn’t send a gift.)

Harper I am getting married in 12 days. I found the gift giving section offensive as well, although I see that it wasn’t intended to be… having friends and family celebrate their union is what matters. In place of a gift a card of congratulations would be a nice alternative, and only a few bucks. It is also a nice way for the couple to look back on their day and remember everyone who was there if they forgot to sign the guest book… In weddings that I was involved in, my gift was doing everything from making favors to stuffing envelopes along with watching the couples dogs while they vacationed. Be creative people, it doesn’t have to be a material gift!!

Nikki I did NOT find the tone of this article to be inappropriate. It is well written and everything on there is accurate. I think people are a little confused. This is ettiquette for the guests not the bride and groom. The bride and groom should never expect gifts. That is not what the day is about. But a guest should never attend without a gift unless financial situations warrant this (in that case, I’m sure the bride and groom are aware anyways). As for the price of the gift, I have ALWAYS been taught that it should be at least the cost of your plate. Maybe this is one of those things that changes from region to region.

Jay My fiancee and I found your gift-giving section so offensive that it has inspired us to insert explicit directions within our invitation that we do not expect or want gifts; the gift is the person’s presence at the wedding. We are inviting 150 people, and feel this is the right thing to do. We already have plenty, and getting gifts would just be greedy.

Personally, I think that to expect a gift from each person equalling or surpassing the price a meal is silly and a bit immature.  At my own wedding 4 years ago, I was thrilled to have the chance to celebrate the occasion with all my friends and family. I had no expectations regarding gifts. The fact that I DID receive gifts was fantastic and I was grateful for each one, regardless of whether or not it was on my registry, or whether it was something I really wanted or needed. (You can always regift something, or give it away to a charity or to someone else who will appreciate it.) And I certainly wasn’t calculating how much the gift cost, or taking offence if it wasn’t on my registry (or not wrapped properly, etc)! In my opinion, every gift is a bonus. I invited people to my wedding because I really wanted them to be there!

Having said that, as a guest, it is proper to find out what’s expected of you, and in general giving a gift is the proper thing to do. It seems that in some circles, there is a very strong gift-giving ettiquete, as stated in 88 Things You Need to Know Before Attending a Wedding. A guest should do their best to be senstive and not offend the bride and groom.

I am curious to know what YOU think about wedding gift etiquette!

photo from janeandphilipswedding

The NY Times also mentions a cool website called Bravo Brides. This is a fantastic forum for brides-to-be who want to save money by purchasing pre-owned stuff, and brides-who-were who want to get some money back on wedding items they no longer need. You can buy or sell anything wedding-related, from designer wedding gowns to groom’s attire, veils, shoes, jewelry, candles, isle runners, ring pillows, flower girl baskets, place card holders, cake toppers, centerpieces, wedding planning guides, party and shower items, and much more!

They also have listings for local vendors and wedding tips to help you save even more money on your wedding planning needs!

Why choose Bravo Brides? Here are their reasons!!

	We’re the premier one-stop resource for all your wedding needs
	You won’t find bicycles or fish tanks on BravoBride. Instead, we focus completely on pre-owned designer wedding dresses, jewelry, accessories, ceremony and reception items, wedding favors—everything you need for the perfect wedding. Here’s what some of our satisfied customers have to say about their experience with BravoBride.
	It’s easy to find exactly what you need on BravoBride
	With our advanced search features, you’ll find the items you need quickly so you can focus on more important things like deciding on the flavor for your wedding cake. Search for wedding dresses by style, size, designer, or price—to name just some of the options. If you see what you want but aren’t ready to buy, simply add the item to your ‘Favorites’ list to purchase later.
	BravoBride makes selling your items easy
	Listing items for sale and uploading your photos is very simple, there’s no technical knowledge required. We don’t charge any listing fees or commissions so you can sell your item at the best possible price. Your listing stays on the site for 18 months, giving your buyers plenty of time to find and purchase your items. You can upload up to eight images and make three image and text edits after your listing has been posted at no additional cost. It’s easy to track your sales and update your listings.
	We support the American Heart Association’s Go Red for Women Campaign
	Did you know that heart disease affects more women than cancer? BravoBride is proud to donate a percentage of our proceeds to the American Heart Association’s Go Red for Women Campaign to reduce cardiovascular disease and stroke among women. You can read more about the Go Red for Women Campaign here.
	BravoBride is good for your budget—and for the planet.
	When you shop on BravoBride, you’re not just getting the wedding items you need at a great price. You’re also making the Earth-friendly choice to re-use and pass along. Just a little something extra to be happy about when you walk down the aisle!
	BravoBride offers a range of features no free site or auction site can match. For example:
	Featured Item placement Advanced search capability Multiple photos My Favorite Items section Recommend items to a friend

But if you think about it, how often is your flower girl actually going to wear her little princess gown? Once? Maybe again for a holiday or a party?  Either way, it seems silly to spend a lot of money on something that they’ll only wear once, especially when you can get a beautiful dress for less! Why spend $450 when you could spend $45? When my daughter was a flower girl at my brother’s wedding, we got a lovely light-yellow colored dress (sweater and shoes too!) from Target for under $30! There she is, pretty as a picture:

Flower Girl Dress for Less has dresses starting from $29 (but see comments below from our readers before you make a purchase):

Flower Girl Princess has some gorgeous dresses, the ones below are $39.99 and $54.99:

Target has something similar to that blue one (so cute!) for even less ($19.99). The white one is $22.99.

At The Perfect Pear, you can select a dress for your little girls, with a sash that matches your bridal party’s colors ($58):

There’s no need to compromise on style for the sake of your budget! Do your own search online and you’re sure to find the perfect flower girl dress!