Showers for a Cause

Who said the bride needs to get all the gifts? Instead, direct that spending power toward a greater cause, and dedicate the day to a charitable organization that holds special meaning for the bride and groom.

Some ideas: Help the fight against breast cancer with a Pink Envelope Bridal Shower. Or have a green bridal shower where you plant trees and serve locally grown vegetarian cuisine. Pack care baskets for the homeless or gather warm clothes for the neighborhood’s underprivileged children.

Thought Exchange

Instead of (or in addition to) exchanging household gifts, focus on the exchange of heartfelt gifts like advice, emotions and feelings. This listening and sharing will help the bride connect with her friends and explore her own feelings about the wedding and marriage.

Some ideas: Each guest can come with their thought to read aloud, or the maid-of-honor can gather submissions ahead of time, and compile them into a scrap book that’s presented to the bride at the shower. Another idea is a recipe exchange with a twist. Each guest brings a recipe card, with a favorite recipe on one side, and on the other side, the recipe for a good marriage.

Memory Lane Shower

Have a shower focused on reminiscing shared memories and friendships. This is not just fun and entertaining, but it will help the bride reconnect with her old self as she prepares to take on a new identity.

Some ideas: Create a memory book where every attendee to write a page or two detailing their fondest memory with the bride. Gather these stories along with photos into a memory scrapbook. Or have each attendee bring a gift that represents a memory – a cd of favorite songs, a photo album, that old cheerleading uniform. A slide show of photos set to music, where everyone contribute some of their favorites, is another great idea (my sister did this for me at my shower and it was great!).  The evening is sure to provoke a lot of heartfelt reminiscing, laughter, and maybe even some tears.

Slumber Party

Break out the PJs, sleeping bags, and tubs of ice cream – it’s time for some serious female bonding. A slumber party is a great way to revel in that special connection you have with the women in your life, and it affords her an encouraging setting to share feelings openly. Consider incorporating some of the above ideas into the slumber party – such as exchanging advice or creating a scrapbook.

Literary Shower

Treat a bride with a passion for literature or poetry with a feast of beautiful quotes. Have all attendees bring an excerpt or poem containing wisdom or sentiment about love or marriage, and take turns reading. The evening will be intellectually enriching and inspiring.

Adventure Shower

Some brides-to-be may cringe at the thought of an emotionally vulnerable shower of intimate bonding. Instead, taking to the outdoors can be a powerful alternative for an emotional and physical release. Enjoy a day of hiking, white water rafting, rock climbing, biking, ropes course – you name it. Successfully accomplishing these challenging outdoor activities can act as a symbolic metaphor for entering into marriage – which also requires strength to overcome its own set of challenges.

Get even more ideas for Bridal Shower Games.

Feature image credit

Swirl Events (found via ritzy bee blog) offers a full-service solution– you be hosting a rocking party without having to lift a finger! “A Swirl wine tasting includes everything from hand-selected wines to paired cheeses and chocolates to an enthusiastic and savvy Swirl expert who will guide you and your guests through the experience.”

Depending on your audiece, budget, and event, Swirl creates the perfect package for your party of 6 or more.  You can have a structured, elegant affair with a Swirl guide leading you through the ABCs of wine tasting, or a relaxed format with guests mingling and tasing as they please. Either way, you’re sure to have the time of your life, sipping, laughing, and learning together… and you can even mix it up comparing wines to celebrities! Is that Sauvignon Blanc you’re drinking a Nicole Kidman (elegant and austere) or a Britney Spears (starts off great, but ends in disaster)?  Are you sipping a George Clooney (smooth, suave, and surprisingly complex) or a Salma Hayek (lush and full-bodied)?

What Swirl provide:

• Wine-loving, highly qualified Swirl Events experts to lead the tasting
• A glass of sparkling wine to set the tone
• 5-6 wines that are steals, splurges and finds
• Perfectly paired cheeses and melt-in-your-mouth chocolates
• Riedel® wine glasses, and optional high quality silverware, napkins, plates & serving trays
• Tasting note cards and wine cheat sheets
• Assistance in securing a venue

As reported by WeddedBits, guests write words of wisdom, ranging from “Never go to bed angry” to “Ask before deleting his favorite show from your TiVo,” on the cards and present them to the bride-to-be. It’s great because everyone can participate, from Great Aunt Lily to your 10-year old flower girl. Who doesn’t love to give advice? As each guest reads theirs aloud, be prepared for some added laughter and tears.

The wording, fonts, and graphics can be customized, and the set comes packaged in a pretty blue box. $17 for 20 cards. Visit Inkspot Workshop’s Etsy site for more information.

As the bride-to-be points out, “I think most brides will agree that bridal showers are kind of overwhelming. So many people gathering around you, absolutely drenching you with love and care, and no groom in sight to help you take it all in. This was absolutely the experience I was able to savor this week, and I hope each of you are able to enjoy the same.”

Of course being center of attention is all part of the fun, but I think it would be a welcome change of pace to kick back with your good friends and watch a fun movie together. Preferably, something about weddings! Just to get everyone in the mood, you know…

Another good idea to facilitate that cozy girl bonding:

“After everyone had enjoyed a little trifle treat, we all sat down in a circle. I turned to each person and spoke of a memory I had of them and why they meant something to me. My mom had suggested the idea of doing this, and it made me really nervous because I wasn’t sure who was coming and I didn’t know what I would say. There were a few people that I feel like I stumbled over a little bit, but for remarks made up right then and there I think it turned out to be just what we wanted it to be. It’s not something you could do with just any group of people, but I lived in the same tiny town my entire life, and so most of those present were people I had known since I was in diapers.”

I was reading All About RegistriesQ&A at the Washington Post, moderated by Summer Krecke, deputy editor at WeddingChannel.com. Although there are some things that she claims to be standard registry etiquette, quite a few brides and guests feel differently. Here are some common questions and answers, adapted from the All About Registries Q&A.

Q. Why do I need to create a gift registry?

A. Registries help guide guests. Gift giving shouldn’t be stressful for guests who don’t know exactly what a couple wants. Gift giving is supposed to be a point of pleasure and joy. The guest wants to give something they know the couple will love!

Q. We’re just not a thing-oriented couple. For our own wedding, we’d really like to avoid the whole gift thing altogether How can we get that word out without being tacky or rude?

A. Alternative registries like Amazon.com or Cloud 9 Living (where you register for activities) are totally acceptable. Other ideas are honeymoon or activity registry, which includes things you’d love to experience like a hot air balloon ride, horseback riding, or spa treatment. Another popular trend is creating a charity registry ( you can do this at WeddingChannel.com). But not having a registry is really not a good idea, because it leaves people without a clue as to what you want.

Q. How does the charity registry work? It sounds like a fabulous idea!

A. You can go to WeddingChannel.comand set up a charity registry. You will find an entire list of popular charities to choose from. You can either request a direct donation or create a regular registry and every time a guest purchases a gift through WeddingChannel.com, a percentage is sent to the charity in your honor.

Q. I think that asking for money — in any way — be it honeymoon fund, house fund, etc. — is just tacky with a capital T.

A. Correct: asking for money is a big NO-NO. If you would prefer money, it’s OK to share that information privately with people like your bridesmaids so they can pass the message along. You should still create a registry for those guests that aren’t comfortable giving money and prefer to give you an actual present.

Q. Two of my very close friends are getting hitched, and their registry is full of blah things like glassware and dust busters. I want to get them something more personal, but is it uncouth to ignore the registry if they’ve taken the time to put it together?

A. If you are absolutely certain your personal gift with thrill the new couple, go right ahead! But if you are uncertain,stick to something on the registry and add a personal touch. If they’re registered for a beautiful frame, buy it and add a great photo. A wine glass set? Get them a case of their favorite wine to go along with it!

Q. Do I really need to make purchases for the engagement, the bridal shower and the wedding? I’ve been invited to a series of parties for a number of friends, and every invite I receive to these events contain their registry information! I wish I could buy you that $400 vacuum, but I can’t even buy one for myself.

A. Gifts are not necessary for an engagement party. A card or bottle of wine would be great! If you are invited to a wedding you should give a gift, but give what you can. The most important thing when creating a gift registry (and I do think couples should have them as an assist to their guests) is to have gifts ranging from $5 to whatever you think is appropriate. Make sure you have inexpensive options.

Q. I’m traveling to be the best man in my friend’s wedding. I am spending lots of time and money to travel to the party. What is an appropriate gift for my friend… or is my presence presents enough?

A. Being in a wedding can involve lots of extra expenses. Perhaps you could pool with a bigger group to purchase something really nice for the bride and groom. You might want to discuss it with other members of the bridal party and see what you can come up with.

Q. Is it acceptable to include registry info in a wedding invitation?

A. Registry info should not be included in your invitation and instead should be supplied on your wedding website or through someone in your bridal party. It is completely unacceptable to include registry information with an invitation to any event other than a shower!

Q. As a future bride, I feel that  gifts are completely OPTIONAL, whether or not you attend the wedding. Don’t you think most friends just want to celebrate with you? I would rather have my friend’s presence than their presents!

A. This is not a black and white issue — a guest should measure her involvement and expenses against her relationship with the couple.