About.com Marriage has a super-inclusive, alphabetical list of flowers and their meaning. Check it out here. Here’s a partial list:

BABY’S BREATH: Innocence.

CALLA LILY: Magnificent beauty.

CARNATION: Fascination, distinction, divine love.

CHRYSANTHEMUM: Cheerfulness, optimism, rest, truth, long life, joy.

DAFFODIL: Joy, happiness.

DAISY: Innocence, loyal love.

FERN: Sincerity, magic, fascination, confidence, shelter.

FORGET-ME-NOT: True love, hope, remembrance, memories.

GARDENIA: You’re lovely, secret love, joy, sweet love, good luck.

HYACINTH, BLUE: Constancy.

IRIS: Wisdom, valued friendship, faith, hope, valor, passion.

IVY: Fidelity, wedded love, friendship.

LILY: Majesty, wealth, pride, innocence, purity

ORCHID: Rare beauty, love, refinement.

RANUNCULUS: You are radiant with charm, radiant charm, attractive.

ROSE: Love, passion, perfection.

SUNFLOWER: Follows the sun as it grows, adoration, devotion.

TULIP: Perfect lover.

ZINNIA: Thoughts of absent friends, in memory of an absent friend.

And a helpful graphic from FrugalDad!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Source: http://frugaldad.com

Here are some symptoms and suggested remedies to heal ailing communication between partners, from Kim Malchuk, motivational speaker, coach, and award-winning author (via Hitched). :

1: Short Fuse. This is a warning flag, especially if your spouse is generally easy-going. If he/she seems to be getting irritated quickly then something’s wrong. Try approaching your partner in a calm and caring manner (a bit of light humor might help if that’s your style) to help your spouse open up and tell you what’s on their mind.

2: Withdrawn and Distant. Career, financial pressures, family issues, health– there are a lot of things that cause us stress. It’s not unusual for people to pull back or get really quiet when they are stressed out. Let your partner know you are there for them and that you’d love to listen to whatever they have to say whenever they want to talk about it.” Again, use a soft and non-demanding tone will help create a comfortable space to start the conversation.

3: Guessing Game. If you sense that something is off kilter, don’t try to guess what it is; just come right out and ask our partner if something is bothering them. Better to get the info from the source rather than letting your imagination run wild. Checking in with your spouse shows that you are paying attention to them and to the overall harmony of the marriage.

4: Kids Rule. This one’s tough but it can be done! Designate a time or a place in your home where the topic of kids is taboo. This time or place should be reserved just for the two of you. A happy Mommy and Daddy with a healthy relationship will benefit everyone living under the roof.

feature image from Saida online

What is a Prenuptial Agreement?

A prenuptial agreement is a contract between two people about to marry that spells out how assets will be distributed in the event of divorce or death. Nancy Dunnan, a New York City financial adviser and author, advises couples to think of it as a business arrangement or as an insurance policy. “Marriage is not just an emotional and physical union — it’s also a financial union. A prenup and the discussions that go with it can help ensure the financial well-being of the marriage.” (Bankrate.com)

Does everyone need a Prenup?

Although some people think that prenuptial accords are only for the rich, even those who have worked hard to save a  nice nest egg may want to protect their assets. Bankrate.com thinks that you should consider having a prenup if you fall into any of the following categories:

How do I bring it up?

Since this is a touchy subject, some sensitivity will be necessary! Of course, it might be that your fiance has thought about it too, but is too scared to bring it up himself! In this case you’re off to a good start.

It is probably best to bring it up as early as possible, maybe even before you are engaged. If you and your other half have been open and honest with each other about other things, then it should hopefully not come as a huge shock that you want to discuss a prenup as well.

Carley, Editor-in-Chief at The Knot points out that there are actually some perks to broaching this uncomfortable but sometimes necessary topic. Her advice is to first remind him that prenuptial agreements actually allow you as a couple to decide what will happen to your cash in the event of a death or divorce, rather than leaving those decisions up to a judge. You can also point out that drawing up a pre-nup forces couples to face their finances and start planning for the future — something most newlyweds don’t start to think about for years. In the process of this discussion you may both learn important things about each other that you didn’t know before!

How do we write it up?

You will both have to fully disclose your assets and sources of income (from your job or business, or monetary gifts like an inheritance). Talk about why you want the prenup and what each party’s concerns are. Once everything is on paper, you and your lawyers will decide together how it will be divided up.  Bankrate.com advises that you each have your own lawyers who will co-write the agreement with their clients’ best interests in mind.

Some things to keep in mind when writing a prenuptial agreement:

• Honesty. Both parties must FULLY disclose their assets. If a judge detects that either person has hidden something, he can toss it out the window.
• It should be signed at least a month before the wedding, and preferably before you send out invitations. This is in order to avoid the appearance of coercion, another key reason why some agreements are rendered null and void.
• Fairness. A valid prenup should not have one spouse taking advantage of the other. If it goes to court, a judge will look for equity in your agreement.
• Avoid making frivolous demands.  Requiring that your spouse not gain weight, or that he take out the garbage three times a week may not be taken seriously. Weighty subjects, such as stipulating what religion your children will observe if you and your betrothed are of different faiths, can be included.
• Create a contract that is as formal as possible.  Use a matrimonial lawyer who is familiar with prenups and the laws of the state in which you will be living.

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Unfortunately, instead of keeping it private, one zealous friend spread it all over the internet where it became a public sensation. Needless to say, this has not improved relations between Heidi and her mother-in-law. It has erupted into a major feud, and taste, manners, and humor seems to be lacking on everyone’s account.

No doubt the original email was harsh, but don’t you think it would have been more prudent to keep in under wraps? Share it with your best friend, by all means, but don’t get your parents involved (especially as the email is attacking them as well). I don’t think anything productive is gained by fostering anger between people in the same wedding party.

Instead, Heidi could have ignored it, or sent back a cold but polite email, asking that her mother-in-law refrain from criticizing her in such a way in the future. Decent people can manage to swallow constructive criticism if it is coming from a place of caring, but this was obviously not the case. With a mother-in-law like this, the best case scenario is to keep your distance and adopt the attitude that “it’s not about me.”

Here is some wise advice from Aish.com regarding abusive mother-in-laws: “Instead of seeing in your mother-in-law a person who is maliciously trying to hurt you, you might see a very threatened and insecure individual. It might be an insecurity resulting from aging, ill health, lack of fulfillment or a myriad of other factors and causes.”

Bottom line is that words can hurt, but only if you let them. You are in charge of your thoughts and you know when someone’s criticism of you is baseless.  Brush it off and get on with your life. As Eleanor Roosevelt said: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

And if you are the mother-in-law, searching to keep the peace, here is some great advice for you too (also from Aish.com). The choice is yours whether to love and accept your daughter-in-law as she is. Try thinking along these lines: “This is my child’s choice so I’m going to blindly like them. I’m not going to look for flaws or weaknesses. I’m going to only notice their strengths. I’m going to ignore the petty and the trivial and focus on what really counts. I’m going to like them and give to them and in doing so I will them come to love them.”

More good advice: In-Law Protection

As your wedding looms closer, dad my start to exhibit strange behavior, whether he’s more distant, short-tempered, distracted, or anxious. This is because thoughts of your marriage may trigger separation anxiety, qualms about entrusting his daughter to another man, and personal fears about aging (think midlife crises!).

Fatherhood is a large part of many men’s identity, so that when their daughter becomes engaged, they may feel that their job as a father is done, thus loosing an essential part of themselves. This may be perceived as a loss of control, triggering emotions such as fear, sadness, loss, and even anger.

Dr. Meeker points out that fathers tend to feel the “empty nest syndrome” at their children’s weddings, not necessarily when they leave home (the time when mom’s may feel their main role of mothering is done). And if dad is feeling any grief over this lost chapter in life, he may be having a hard time expressing it properly. Instead, he may “withdraw from you and the whole wedding-planning process, or even to lash out in anger.”

So what can I do about it?

We don’t want a sad dad, especially at such a joyous time! Talk about it, if you can, letting him know how important he is, and that no one will ever take his place.  Maybe you can spend some quality time together (with our without your fiance)

, or try to get him involved in some aspect of the wedding planning. Ask him if there are any family traditions that he’d like to include, making a toast at the dinner, even what he’s going to wear– anything that will get him more  involved!

And if you are wary of talking feelings with your dad, maybe mom can clue him in on why he’s feeling so moody!

Read more at Brides.com!

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In addition to that, technology and social media make it easy to maintain friendships even with people you don’t see that often. Emails, blogs, text, chats, Facebook… they all make it simple to stay connected and foster intimacy.

Whether or not your opposite-sex friendships are truly platonic, the dynamics of all friendships shift a bit once you are married. Suddenly there is one person and one relationship which must be the priority in your life. The question of how appropriate it is to have and spend time with opposite sex friends suddenly becomes a question that you may never have asked yourself before. It is not only a question of how comfortable you feel maintaining opposite-sex friendships, it’s a question of how your spouse feels about these relationships.

Some couples will say that they trust their spouse and respect their right to keep their opposite-sex friends. Others say that despite trusting their spouse not to act inappropriately, the are uncomfortable having them spend private time together. In these cases it may be best to include your spouses in sharing group quality time.

In her article Can Married People Have Opposite Sex Friends? Diane Gottsman explores this conflict and offers six tips to help protect your marriage when dealing with friends of the opposite sex. Here is her advice:

1. Listen to your intuition. If you feel deep down that your friend has romantic feelings for you, do not pursue the platonic friendship.

2. Keep personal space and physical touch in check. Although the relationship may be more relaxed than a business client, keep the same amount of distance and space you would with your boss’s wife. Close proximity and intimate touch is reserved for your spouse alone.

3. Don’t discuss your spouse’s flaws with your friend. Even if you consider yourself very close friends, it’s a form of betrayal to vent to your friend about your spouse’s shortcomings, especially without addressing it with your spouse first.

4. Meet in public places at appropriate times of day. Just like mom used to say, “Nothing good happens after 1:00 a.m.,” the same holds true with your friend. Time and place is a consideration when meeting with your friend of the opposite gender.

5. Include your spouse in your plans. If it’s only platonic, there should be no problem with one more person tagging along.

6. Your spouse always comes first. If your relationship with your friend is causing marital strife, your first consideration should always be your mate.

There may not be a one-size-fits-all answer to the question of whether men and women can truly be just friends. But for married people, it’s vital to keep your relationship with your spouse above all others. If your spouse thinks there is a problem, then there is indeed a problem.

More advice for happy marriages at Hitched.com

Review past spending: Together, review each other’s credit reports and monthly income statements.

Look toward the future: Decide whether you are going to mingle your bank accounts or keep them separate. Choose medical benefit policies. Write out wills. Assign healthcare proxies and powers of attorney. Look into buying life insurance policies to protect each other should anything happen to either person (this becomes more urgent when you have children).

Assign roles: Who will handle the day-to-day financial decisions like paying bills, budgeting and saving? Things you may want to set money aside for include kids’ college education, buying a home, and retirement.  Who’s in charge of monitoring where the money is going?

Family matters: Many experts advocate discussing the financial aspects of having and raising children before you start a family. My friends and I, on the other hand, agree that if we had done this, we’d never have babies! My husband and I have three beautiful children… but they’re going out to earn their keep as soon as they learn how to read.

Write it down: Putting your detailed financial strategy down on paper will help you to actually implement it.  You may want to employ the help of a financial professional who can make sure you’re covering all your bases and being realistic.

feature image: 5min.com: How to talk money with your spouse

Here are some ideas that are both formal and fun! Fresh flowers, ribbon, fabric, crepe paper, berries, herbs, acorns… this little ornament provides a great little outlet for your creative abilities!

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All photos compliments of Martha Stewart Weddings

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Dahlia + Polka dot tie = Cheerful and fun!

Flowers + Berries + Leaves = Striking and Earthy

Beaded flowers + Ribbon = Handsome Keepsake

Crepe paper + Creativity = Long-lasting flower!

Orchids + Ribbon = High Style

Ribbon + Button = Loads of fun (Get the How-T0)

Beads + Floral tape = Very vintage

Mini rosebuds = Gorgeous (roses never need anything else!)

Nerines + Mizuhiki cord = Japanese good luck

Ribbon + Fabric glue = Unique!

Oak leaves + Acorns = Jaunty and Autumnal

Muscari buds + Jacquard ribbon = Refreshing

Edelweiss flowers + frog berries + dusty-miller leaves= WOW!

Boronia branches + Hot pink = Manly (oh yes!)

??See even more gorgeous boutonnieres– floral and otherwise– at Martha Stewart Weddings!

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1. Personalized MP3 Cooler Bag

For the man who likes to celebrate outdoors, this brilliant bag is, quite simply, a portable party! Snacks and music go, great if you’re planning a beach or destination wedding, pool party rehearsal dinner or picnic engagement party!

Removable speaker panel, a battery-powered amplifier, a Velcro pocket for a standard-size mp3 player, a detachable jack, an adjustable shoulder strap, a top carry handle, a front zippered pocket, and an inner insulated cooler compartment, PLUS free embroidered initials, all for $49.95. Get it now!

2. Personalized Barbecue Cooler Kit

This is the perfect gift for any guy who is master of the grill. It’s fabulous for tailgating, camping, or heavy-duty picnicking.

This roomy cooler bag features: a front zippered pocket with a stainless steel grill brush, a spatula, and tongs; back zippered pocket holds a large tablecloth. Add on free personalization of your groomsmen’s initials or monograms, all for $62.95. Get it now!

3. Personalized Groomsmen Dresser Kit

Practical yet sentimental! This thoughtful men’s gift is a handsome valet tray where you can tuck in a photo to remind him of the good times you’ve shared! Personalized with his initials, this dresser set becomes a keepsake he’ll treasure as the years go by.

Black leatherette, with white topstitching and black velvet lining, four compartments, and photo box lid keep accessories and favorite memories safe. Free silver-plate personalization! Only $43.20. Get it now!

4. Personalized Groomsmen Cufflinks

Whether your groomsmen wears wingtip or laydown tuxedo shirts, these initialed classic brush silver square cufflinks will please your guy… and the ladies. Only $26.95. Get them now!

5. Personalized Mini Foosball Game Set

Now it’s foosball time all the time! You can play a little game wherever you go (just not during the ceremony!)…  Get your groomsmen hooked!

Miniature, portable, travel size Personalized Mini Foosball Game Set is made of silvertone metal and brass colored metal a features a replica of a real foosball game table complete with 2 sets of team players and 2 silvertone metallic balls. Free personalization up to 20 characters. Only $22.95! Get yours now!

6. Personalized NFL Wall Clock

Add a dose of team pride to your groomsmen’s game rooms with these impressive Personalized NFL Wall Clocks! Proudly made in the USA, these colorful NFL wall clocks feature genuine quartz movement. Available in 32 teams, these clocks may be personalized with up to 2 lines of 12 characters each. Only $28.95! Get it here!

7. Sean Travel Set

A handy-dandy gift for the man on the move. Especially apropos if you’re having a destination wedding. The handsome aluminum carrying case contains a razor, spare razon blades, small and large nail clipper, shaver, file, cuticle cutter, cuticle cleaner, and tweezer. Only $38.95! Get it now!

8. Engravable Silver Pocket Tool

This silver pocket all-in-one-tool gets back to the basics with stuff they’ll need for the great outdoors and regular, everyday pursuits. It includes needle-nose pliers, wire cutters, large/medium/small flat screwdrivers, clip-point knife, phillips screwdriver, bottle/can opener, fish scale, and saw. Pocketknife can be engraved with up to 12 characters, plus a nylon carrying case. Only $15.95. Get it now!

9. Engravable Curved Business Card Case

This attractive business card case thanks the professionals in your wedding party with distinctive style. No more lost or crumpled business cards! Sturdy chrome with a brown leather overlay, contrast stitching, and free engraving. Only $21.95. Get it now!

10. The Thinker Desk Pen Holder

This exquisite reproduction of Rodin’s famous sculpture, “The Thinker” is attached to a heavyweight base with a pen rest. Doubles as a paperweight. Sure to be the centerpiece of any office, this attractive statuette complements modern and traditional décor for a stunning effect. Only $35.95. Get it now!

OK. So what can the groom do? I know the bride and groom in this photo don’t inspire much confidence, but we know there are plenty of grooms out there who are mature, capable, and reliable! For the lucky bride whose groom is willing to meet her halfway, The Groom Says has a bunch of good ideas. In his own witty words:

• Male on Mail. MC Groom will stuff, stamp, send out the Save the Dates and the Invites. When guests respond, he’ll be responsible for managing the guest list (that means keeping track of RSVPs, updating mailing addresses, hounding guests who don’t respond, etc).
• MC Groom Inn the House. Your groom will also assume the sometimes unpleasant tasks involved in guest accommodations, like researching hotel options and being the point-person for the hotel’s group sales coordinator. It might also involve alerting out-of-town guests about the block of rooms that are set aside and ensuring that all guests get the decided-upon rate.
• Music and Food. Brides, you won’t like what you’re about to hear, but just know that you can’t possibly book all of your vendors yourself and keep your head on straight simultaneously. MC Groom will manage. He’ll do all the research, share his findings, manage contracts and handle all of the correspondence with your DJ/band and your caterer, the two vendors who will please and feed your guests’ ear drums and taste buds, respectively. He’ll ensure that the music that’s played will appeal to all of your guests and guarantee that the caterer caters to any dietary needs of your guests. Don’t worry, brides, you can still help him choose who those vendors will be and help decide the menu for the evening. And an added bonus — you’re still responsible for the venue(s), the coordinators and planners, the officiant, the florist/designer, the photographer and the videographer. Win!
• The Mini-Wedding. What a blessing it is that MC Groom is accustomed to eating, because he’ll be in charge of choosing the venue for the rehearsal dinner and working hand-in-hand with his parents (assuming they’re hosting the event) to plan the festivities.
• Favors. I know this is a touchy territory; some brides revel in the fact that they can send their guests off with homemade chocolate chip cookie-scented candles, and we wouldn’t dare take that joy away from you. But for those brides who aren’t as crafty, your groom may have some ideas to run by you and may be the perfect sounding board for yours.
• Information Hotline. MC Groom will assume the daunting task of ensuring that everyone knows exactly where everything is being held and how to get from this thing to that other thing. And in the days leading up to the wedding, he can field all of the phone calls from your long-winded guests who have inane questions. Someone needs to tell cousin Mark that, no, he shouldn’t wear open-toed shoes to the reception.
• Liquor Cabinet. And yes, he will gladly take care of the booze, which makes sense since he’s going to be communicating with your caterer directly. He’ll select the beer and the liquor and mix some specialty cocktails for you to sample at home. He’s such a gentleman… 
• The There-and-Back. If applicable, MC Groom will be responsible for researching transportation options for your guests, whether that involves a taxi, a trolley or an eight-person bicycle.
• We Love Our Garlic Press. My 2Es can attest to the unanticipated burden of sending out thank you cards. You planned a wedding for over a year, and once it’s through (while you’re genuinely stoked about your new Calphalon stick-free wok), the last thing you want to do is sit down and put those feelings on paper. The fact that you’re given a full year to complete the task doesn’t help either, as you only end up delaying the inevitable. So let MC Groom express your gratitude. Buy some stationery you approve of and put them in his trusty hands, confident that he can mail out four or five dozen envelopes in twelve months time.

A few more things:

• Take charge of his own attire, plus attire, rentals, accessories and gifts for his men.
• Hire the babysitters, rent a photobooth, book a harpist for the ceremony… basically any other responsibilities you and he agree to place in his trusty hands!

Liked that? TheManRegistry.com is an online resource for grooms and is the internet leader in grooms wedding tips and wedding advice for grooms. The website features a specialized wedding gift registry featuring hundreds of wedding gifts tailored toward grooms, including electronics, barbecue grills and accessories, bar supplies, tools and outdoors gear and items from favorite sports teams — In addition to the wedding registry, the website also offers a wealth of information, how-to articles and resources designed to help successfully guide the 2.4 million grooms who get married each year through every step of the engagement, wedding and honeymoon planning processes.

feature image: The Mail